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Satire Since 1993

"Behind the Nazi party stands the German people, who elected Hitler after he had in his book and in his book and in his speeches made his shameful intentions clear beyond the possibility of misunderstanding."

Albert Einstein, 1944


March 3, 2024   •   Issue 184 (of 200?)

Almost Washington State (WHN) March 3, 2024. In an exclusive WHN photo, U.S. GQP Representatives Jim Jordan (L) and James Comer (R) address the pending impeachment of President Biden with WHN Reporter Ned Ander-Thal.  Per Representative Jordan: "Let's be clear that we believe the President ... of RUSSIA.... Joe Biden is head of the infamous Biden Crime Family. Sure, every American citizens we deposed has denied this, as has the FBI, NSA and the CIA, but if you can't trust a World Leader like Putin what hope is there.... ok, none for Ukraine, or possibly Europe.... but the Democrats impeached Jesus, er, President Trump, so we gotta impeach Biden. We won't let 'truth' get in the way of our revenge, er, 'justice'!"  

'Republicans' Call For End To American Democracy at Annual Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC)

A World Headline News


Almost Washington State (WHN) March 3, 2024.  Jack Posobiec, a vocal Trump supporter and keynote speaker at CPAC, vowed [February 21, 2024] to finish in 2024 what the 'patriots' of January 6 began: “Welcome to the end of democracy! We’re here to overthrow it completely. We didn’t get all the way there on January 6th, but we will endeavor to get rid of it and replace it with this right here, [clinched fist in air dangling Christian cross]. That’s right, because all glory is not to government, all glory to God.” Steve Bannon, former Trump administration official, and current Trump advisor, stated: “All right! Amen!”.

“The world is in greater peril from those who tolerate or encourage evil than from those who actually commit it.”

"Organized force can only be opposed by organized force."

Albert Einstein, mid 1930s warning about NAZI Germany

In November 2024 The United States Could Turn Down A



Despite CLEAR EVIDENCE of Russian 'Misinformation' Campaign

Republican GQP Congress Discounts AMERICAN Witnesses and Evidence and Trusts RUSSIAN Agent!

Rep. Jordan and Comer Insist

'Putin IS More Believable Than WITNESSES, The FBI Or CIA'

"We trust that Alexander Smirnov guy!

...'cuz we want to impeach Biden..."




Former President Trump on February 24 gave the keynote of CPAC 2024, stating: For hard-working Americans, Nov. 5 will be our new Liberation Day! But for the liars, and cheaters, and fraudsters, and censors and imposters who have commandeered our government, it will be their Judgment Day.  Our country is being destroyed and the only thing standing between you and its obliteration is me.”. Repeating earlier comparisons of himself to the recently deceased (likely murdered by Putin) Russian dissident Alexei Navalny, Trump further claimed: "I stand before you today only as your past and hopefully future president, but as a proud political dissident. I am a dissident." Trump has also promised to use the military to arrest, detain in camps, and deport millions of undocumented (likely including large numbers of 'poorly' documented American citizens) people living in the United States. This would be done despite existing LAWS against such actions.

WHAT DO YOU WIN?! Satisfaction in helping Ned find Cooper, a whopping 5 PPB GOLD MEDAL, 1,000 francs (CFA) AND a fully paid 1 YEAR SUBSCRIPTION to the

World Headline News


Likely Delays Trump's Federal Trials on 91 Felony Charges Past November Election

- Just as Trump Hoped

Biden Preps Seal Team 6: Trump, Alito, Thomas and Gorsuch Listed as Presidential Targets If Trump Doctrine Is Upheld

WHN EXCLUSIVE: Via secret interviews, and liberal doses of Ned's patented 2024 Vision Juice, WHN court reporter Ned Ander-Thal has uncovered the preliminary thoughts and comments of the U.S. Supreme Court Justices on Mr. Trump's claims for TOTAL PRESIDENTIAL IMMUNITY.  Mr. Biden was also weighed in on the possible court decision. © 2024 Ned Ander-Thal, World Headline News

Almost Washington State (WHN) March 3, 2024.  As the old saying goes, "Justice Delayed, is Justice Denied". Despite a clear, reasoned, and forceful Appeals Court ruling rebuking Mr. Trump's claims of "TOTAL IMMUNITY", the U.S. Supreme Court has stayed the decision and agreed to hear Mr. Trump's arguments that, in essence, the President is ABOVE THE LAW (or as former President Richard Nixon famously claimed, "If the President does it, it is legal.").  The justices, clearly knowing the crucial constitutional importance of the case, agreed to hear the case (versus letting the Appeals Court ruling to stand) and, ah, rapidly delayed hearing the case until late April. As a result, it is highly unlikely that Mr. Trump will face trial in any of the 91 federal felonies of which he has been charged before the November 2024 election. IF Mr. Trump should win the fall elections, it is likely that all federal charges would be dismissed by the newly elected Trump Justice Department. Thus proving:

"Justice Delayed is Justice Denied.  Justice Denied Could Be Democracy Denied."

Trump's Reliance on F.E.A.R.* in Both The Court and The 2024 Election

* False Evidence Appearing Real

In the past, Mr. Trump has relied on F.E.A.R., intimidation, and wealth to avoid legal consequences.  However, this strategy IS beginning to fail. Mr. Trump has already been convicted of sexual assault in civil court ($83,000,000 owed to victim) and the Trump Organization has been convicted of business fraud in New York ($465,000,000 owed to New York). Moreover, Mr. Trump's attempt to silence the New York Times for publishing his tax returns has resulted in Mr. Trump being labile for a $392,000 judgement to the paper for its legal fees.

Mr. Trump is, currently, still facing additional state charges in New York and Georgia that are criminal in nature and runs the risk of state prison time - sentences that are NOT pardonable by the President of the United States.

DEPRESSED NOW?  Maybe Waldo, er, this will help!


Gleeful Trump Praises 'HIS' Justices




Citizens United - granted the rich more power to influence in elections by removing limits on political donations.

Shelby County - undermined voting rights; especially in states with a history of racial bias.The ruling has made it easier for state officials to make voting harder for ethnic minorities and has resulted in massive closures of polling place in minority neighborhood.

Heller - expanded gun rights by ruling that "well regulated militia" clause of the Second Amendment did not limit gun ownership. Also ruled that the requirement that lawfully owned guns be kept "unloaded and disassembled or bound by a 'trigger lock' violated the constitution.

Bruen - ruled that a New York law concerning concealed carrying of a weapon was unconstitutional and that the ability to carry a pistol in public was a constitutional right guaranteed by the Second Amendment.

Dobbs - overturned Roe v. Wade which had established a constitutional right to abortion leaving states free to ban/restrict the right to abortion in whatever manner they wished.

Students for Fair Admissions - gutted race-based "affirmative action" that was established (beginning in 1965) to counter historical discrimination against blacks and other minorities.

West Virginia - curbed the Environmental Protection Agency's (EPA) authority to regulate carbon emissions from power plants.

Sackett - curtailed the scope of the EPA's power to regulate the nation's wetlands and waterways via the 1972 Clean Water Act. Ruling LIMITS the EPA's power to waterways, lakes and wetlands that have a continuous surface connection to 'navigable' (i.e., commercial) waterways.

The ROBERT COURT: A PARTIAL History of Regressive Rulings

John G. Roberts, Jr. is the17th Chief Justice of the United States (2005 - present)

CONTEST TOO HARD? Maybe ancient history will help!

Thus, per the ROBERT COURT rulings, the Government (i.e., laws passed by legislatures or empowered via the creation of federal agencies) has very limited power to regulate the wealthy from influencing/corrupting elections, or address gun violence, environmental pollution, climate change, etc.  

Clearly future generations will be "thanking" the Roberts Court....

NED's TAKE: Governments and legislators should be 'aspirational' striving to make the citizen, the state, the country, and the world better places for humankind to live. Civilizations and threats to humanity are constantly changing and deciding laws based on the ,prevailing standards' (as the Originalists on the Supreme Court contend) of the constitution signed on September 17, 1787 (237 years ago) is ludicrous.  Under those standards, slavery, voting restriction, racial/gender/lifestyle discrimination, and unrestricted robber-baron capitalism could be deemed constitutionally protected activity. Laws are passed to typically address the 'lowest common denominator' type behavior - whether that be murder, commercial malfeasance, water pollution, guns, or voting restrictions. Governmental agencies (authorized by congressional legislation) like the EPA, must have appropriate clarity of rights to address pressing issue and to protect Americans from known and, potentially, unknown risks.

Exclusive Reports from the World Headline News

Print Edition Archives (1993-2012)

Issue 47

(?To Honor the future 47th President?)

July 22, 1999

"Men have more brains? I ate Trump's brain and look what it did to me!"

September 16, 2016  (Issue 81)

IS THE ROBERTS SUPREME COURT USURPING LEGISLATIVE POWER? Many people claim that the Supreme Court is usurping the power of the Legislative and Executive branches of government by limiting or outright revoking legislation in a number of areas under the guise of the "Originalist Doctrine"; an approached favored by Conservatives since the 1990s. This has become the defining legal criteria for the Supreme Courts more conservative justices (who hold a 6-3 majority). As a result, a number of rulings have been made by the court that directly reverse or severely limit laws and regulations passed into law by the Legislative and Executive branches of the US Government. Indeed, per the Originalist Doctrine, the only way some of these laws/policies would be viable is through Constitutional Amendments - a task so onerous as to make it nearly impossible to do so.


Another Cheap WHERE'S WALDO Ripoff Contest

TOTAL RETAIL VALUE: 1000 CFA francs. Mail your notarized entry (circle Cooper and include complete calculus answer)  to:

The WHN World Headquarters, Canada.

Selected WINNER will receive a 'coupon' redeemable at your LOCAL branch of Banque Commerciale du Niger. Per Canadian gaming regulations, the contest winner must be able to accurately answer, and show work, the following math quiz:

(1-1000) x Trumps IQ = "?".

For ages 3-99 only; Apologies to our readers born before March 1, 1925 or after March 1, 2021.  

The average level of gold found in typical soil is ~ 5 ppb. This value can be used as a background level of gold content.

The Cooper 'Gold' Medal and 1979 CFA 1000 Franc banknote (Legal Tender) on deposit at The World Headquarters of the WHN.