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Satire Since 1993

WHN EXCLUSIVE: To commemorate the historic JANUARY 6 'Day of Legitimate Political Discourse', the World Headline News Greeting Card Company  announced its NEW January 6 Holiday Grift Card Line. This was followed the the Never Trump NFT cards in December of 2022.   © 2022 Ned Ander-Thal, World Headline News.

Not Much Happened!

That Was Good...

Almost Washington State (WHN) January 7, 2023. Despite the enthusiasm of most of the world that arose in 2021 as Biden took the helm of the 'Free World', not much (good) happened in 2022. Despite an abundance of vaccines, and an even greater abundance of SARS-CoV-2, vaccine hesitancy (and outright hostility) kept the pandemic in play. So, 2022, from a public health perspective was year 3 of 2020 and was roundly ignored by the news media (including the WHN; shame, shame, shame on us). Which brings us to the 'news' we did cover:

Surprisingly, or not, Donald Trump still dominated the news.... partly due to his 2021 (January) rally at the Capital as well as 'rallies' held at his property by agents of the National Archives (February) and later agents of the Federal Bureau of Investigations (August). Indeed, Mr. Trump rally calls were fodder for citizen researchers who, answering the calls of "Q" went looking for "A" on the internet, in pizza parlors, and Governor mansions  (January). But not all science news was "Q" related. In a SHOCK to the world, or at least to Albanian exiles everywhere, Dr. Mark Scott, Ned's early mentor, formally announced his retirement after 40 years of successfully (!?) wasting government research funding (January). Per the dictates of his religion, the official date of his retirement was Charles Darwin Birthday Eve [February 11 for you pagans]. Despite the world's dismay arising from Dr. Scott's announcement, it's attention was forcefully turned to Eastern Europe and the unexpected invasion of Ukraine by Russia (March April). Originally suppose to be a weekend romp followed by a glorious picnic in which ALL Ukrainians (except those executed by the death squads) would joyfully honor Mother Russia. But the success of the invasion was aborted by the resistance of the Ukrainians.  Of course, this was a potentially illegal termination procedure by the Ukrainians as the U.S. Supreme Court was to overturn 1973's Roe v. Wade (the constitutional right to abortion) decision (May). The Court, in its wisdom, favored reproductive laws dating back to (at least) 1650 England. Russia, using its special relationship(s) [see Ms. March and Ms. April] with Mr. Trump, requested that the former President ask the F.B.I. to investigate the 'illegal' abortion of it's successful Ukraine invasion.  Mr. Trump invited the F.B.I to visit Mar-a-Lago to discuss the matter, but the Agents showed up when Mr. Trump wasn't home (JuneJulyAugust).  Obviously looking for some milk and cookies to snack on while waiting for the President to arrive, Agents discovered the REAL cookies.... highly choc-lified, er, classified U.S. documents. To make matters worse for Mr. Trump, Her Highness, The Queen of Denmark, who rebuffed Mr. Trump's attempt to buy Greenland (or swap it for Puerto Rico) was discovered by the WHN to be contemplating the hostile takeover of Canada (September • October). The Queen's efforts were legally predicated on 'historical occupation/imminent domain' - the same ploy used by Putin to justify the Ukraine invasion. IF successful (and who could doubt the success of the Danish military?) this would make Denmark MUCH larger geographically than the U.S.A. and could ultimately lead to the Queen's hostile takeover of Mar-a-Lago - simply to spite Donald Trump.  These concerns led to the former President announce his run for President in 2024; because, who else would oppose an overtly hostile threat from Greenland to the sovereignty of Mar-a-Lago (clearly not Joe Biden!). But to finance his run for the White House, Mr. Trump needed money (November • December)! Being the grifter, er, hip entrepreneur that he is, Mr. Trump turned to NFT (non-fungible token).  Using the World's greatest artist, Mr. Trump created incredible masterpieces of Trump idolatry [and IDIOCRACY (2006) Mike Judge Movie].  However, others, such as the WHN, have challenged Mr. Trump by creating even more riveting NEVER Trump NFT.  Signing off the year, Cooper Ander-Thal (NOT Cooper Anderson) brought 2022 to an end (November • December).  

January 7, 2023   •   Issue 171

2022 in the Rear View

Exclusives of the

World Headline News in 2022





June • July • August

September • October

November • December


April 23, 2022

January 1, 2023

WHN EXCLUSIVE:  GQP senators state Biden should have consulted with former President Trump on the response to the Russian Invasion citing Trump's 'Hands On' experience handling Eastern Europeans (shown in our exclusive WHN Photo).   'Busting' with pride, elite Russian shock and awe troops mesmerize a clearly excited (waist down not shown) Donald Trump with their prowess.  A clearly pleased Donald Trump stated, "I could, or would, never fight them off. Make love not war!" © 2022 Ned Ander-Thal, World Headline News.

WHN EXCLUSIVE:  'Radical' 1973 Abortion Ruling Overturned.  Justice Alito: "Stoned 1970s Hippie Justices Got It Wrong" In 2022, Sir, er, Justice Samuel Alito cited Sir Matthew Hale's 1650s legal opinions against abortion to overturn 1973's Roe v. Wade decision. Importantly, Sir Hale also favored "burning of female witches" and support of the "right of "marital rape" by men. unFortunately for 2022's women, the Court viewed the standards of 17th and 21st century society as judicially virtually identical. Obviously, this ruling will lead to de-evolution of our thinking regarding slavery, inter-racial marriage, gay rights, evolution, and a myriad of other progressive (hence, destructive) changes in society. © 2023 Ned Ander-Thal, World Headline News.

WHN EXCLUSIVE: As 2022 dawned across the world, fear and trepidation of the future arose across the political, medical, sociological and, now, scientific communities as Dr. Mark Scott announced his retirement from active research on Charles Darwin Birthday Eve (for non-Darwinians that is February 11). Per Dr. Scott, "It seemed a fitting time to 'evolve' into retirement and to prepare for my run for the Presidency of the dis-United States in 2024."  © 2022 Ned Ander-Thal, World Headline News.

WHN EXCLUSIVE: According to Q-Science, vaccines are “RNA-Modifying Transhumanism-Nano-Technology” contaminated by Alien Creatures, and Deadly Human Parasites! Q Citizen Scientist everywhere demanded the end to vaccinations... not just to Covid, but to mumps, rubella, chickenpox, and more. Life expectancy has dropped by almost 2 years. © 2022 Ned Ander-Thal, World Headline News.

WHN EXCLUSIVE: Missing, Taken, Flushed, Shredded and Burn-Bagged: National Archives Requests Department of Justice Look Into Trump’s mishandling of White House Presidential Records. In an exclusive WHN photo, Mr. Trump demonstrates how he handles sensitive and historical documents at his Mar-a-Loco, er Lago residence.  © 2022 Ned Ander-Thal, World Headline News.

WHN EXCLUSIVE: Trump: "Putin is a Genius. He would not have invaded Ukraine if I was President.""...because I would have given him Ukraine on a silver platter..."  Volodymyr Zelenskyy reacts to the February 24, 2022 World (WAR III) Premier of "Quid Pro Quo Act II: A Perfect Love Story" While an apparent hit in Russia, Ukrainians are less than impressed with the movie. Noted film critic Ned Ander-Thal states: "Putin's acting is wooden and unconvincing, though 'The Donald' is convincing as a love struck psychopath. Overall the it's a disaster movie."   © 2022 Ned Ander-Thal, World Headline News.

The CO$T of the War To Russia

(or Orcs as the Ukrainians refer to them)

WHN EXCLUSIVE: F.B.I. 'Vacations' At Mar-a-Lago. Per Mr. Trump: "They were rude and uninvited! They stole towels, broke into rooms, my safe, and then pilfered some of my White House souvenirs."  In an exclusive, Mr. Trump was  photographed at the Mar-a-Lago bus stop waiting for the next bus to Moscow (not the one in Idaho). Some in Mr. Trump's orbit suspect that the person sitting with Mr. Trump, now identified as a 'Mr. Gump', is actually an undercover FBI agent trying to entrap the President. In contrast, the Department of Justice is concerned that 'Mr. Gump' is an emissary of the mysterious French-Canadian Vlad M.R. Poutine. The contents of Mr. Trump's briefcase and 'Mr. Gump's' box is of particular concern to the DOJ attorneys who are, reportedly, hungry for a conviction..  © 2022 Ned Ander-Thal, World Headline News.

WHN EXCLUSIVE: Rumors are that Danes, looking for warmer vacation resorts, desire to conquer Mar-a-Lago in retaliation for Mr. Trumps awkward efforts to buy Greenland.  This will be accomplished via an invasion route from Canada, to which Denmark may lay claims to.  Archeological evidence strongly supports the finding that the VIKING Leif Erikson and his crew were the first Europeans to land on and subsequently settle Vinland (circa 1000 C.E.) in what is now Newfoundland, Canada. Mr. Erikson's discovery occurred about 500 years BEFORE Mr. Columbus reached the islands of the West Indies.  Because the Icelandic, and later Greenland, Vikings of that era were 'ruled' by the Danish crown, Denmark has both a logical and LEGAL claim to much of North America! Though Norway and Sweden may also lay claim to the Viking discovery.... but that will be another war.   © 2022 Ned Ander-Thal, World Headline News.

WHN EXCLUSIVE: Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, Happy New Year and have a GREAT 2023 to all our subscribers and innocent victims.  © 2022 Ned Ander-Thal, World Headline News.

WHN EXCLUSIVE: Mr. Trump's OFFICAL TRUMP NFT TRADING CARDS were originally offered at $99 (US) per card. These digital NFT (non-fungible token) digital trading cards are not the quality of investment that savvy WHN readers would invest in. WHN Never Trump NFT are of superior quality.  Using ethically sourced,  premium electrons, and inspired art from the world acclaimed artist Ned Ander-Thal, the WHN cards are sure to be a hit for your loved ones, or enemies, this Christmas. © 2022 Ned Ander-Thal, World Headline News.

See Also

June • July • August

Wow, not even the InfoWars or Fox News could have managed to uncover the deeply intertwined nature of these surprisingly linked events... much less have the crack(ed) photographers on site to capture them for posterity. ....though perhaps "Q" could have done so....     .... is Ned "Q"?   gasp!