As Mr. Corleone has stated, “While this has been a banner year for extortion, errr.. I mean charitable taking, my, errr, associates Guido and Carmen tell me dem toit..toitiosese --err toitles, is in great need of condoms.  Consequently, we’s needs an even greater take from youse.  So’s maybe youse could get dat sorry butt outa da bed and send us da dough so we’s can buy da Condoms for dem Toitles.  Please, please, help prevent unwanted toitle pregnancies and send us da doe.  Remember, dem toitle condoms ain’t cheap, so send lots of green stuff now...or else your mudder might not make it home tonight...”  In fact I’m goin’ in da Mens room now and purchase da first batch of toitle condoms.......Yo, Guido, youse got a quarter?”

Grand Cayman Island (WHN)  Each year thousands of unmarried tortoises become pregnant.  Why?  It is simply because not enough tortoise condoms are manufactured.  The WHN in conjunction with Wild Bills Latex Products is proud to announce this years fund drive:

You can help, please send $299.95 to:  

    Mr. Don “The Meat Cleaver” Corleone

    President, WHN Charities

    Cayman’s A-Go-Go Club

    Grand Cayman Island

Exclusive WHN Report:

December 1, 2013   •   Issue 65