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Satire Since 1993

November 18, 2020   •   Issue 142

Make Joey Go Away!


"All Mine! Rudy, will make da bad man in da mask go away! He's trying to... sniff, sniff... to take my sucker!"

Electoral College Votes 270 to win

Biden: 306  Trump: 232

Estimated Popular Vote

Biden: 81,284,062 (51.3%)  Trump: 74,221,849 (46.9%)    


data from Dec. 7 @ 9:08 am

BIDEN: 7,000,000+ MORE VOTES

SHOCK! Some Experts AGREE that Trump's Path to 270 is Clear!

He just needs to lose 80 pounds...

He lost Michigan, Wisconsin, Pennsylvania, Arizona, and Georgia so 80 pounds should be easy!

Rudy Giuliani Vows To Take

Trump's Sex (?) Appeal All The Way To The

Supreme Courtyard by Marriott*

*by way of Four Seasons Total Landscaping

Almost Washington State (WHN) November 18, 2020. Following the clear victory by President-Elect Joe Biden in the 2020 Election, soon-to-be FORMER President Donald has avoided public appearances but continues to dispute the elections outcome via the courts.

While efforts to date in the courts have proved legally fruitless, though often legally hysterical, Mr. Trump has yet to concede the election and has repeatedly claimed:

"I won! I won! I Won! I WON! I won...."

WHN EXCLUSIVE: Consequent to WHN's Ned Ander-Thal's previous employment in the Trump Administration, secret cameras were placed at all of Mr. Trump's properties as well as in the White House. Shown is a screen capture from the live Oval Office video feed of the President reacting to the Pennsylvania election results. Rumors continue to swirl that the tantrums have only gotten worse... and Mr. Trump has bunkered down. World Headline News © 2020 Ned Ander-Thal.

In an attempt to restore the Presidency, Mr. Trump has enlisted the foremost legal scholar in the United States (and Ukraine): Rudy Giuliani. Fresh off of his runaway (i.e., the press ran away from the faux story) success disseminating the 'Hunter Biden Faux Laptop', Mr. Giuliani has now assumed full control of Mr. Trump's legal challenge to the democratic election of President-Elect Joe Biden.

Mr. Trump has expressed great confidence in Rudy: "Rudy will make da bad man in da mask go away! He's [Editor: President-Elect Joe Biden] trying to... sniff, sniff... take my sucker away!"

Drink & Support the President!

Cult 45

For every purchase of a 45 oz bottle of Cult 45, Mr. Trump's best friend, the mysterious French-Canadian Vlad M.R. Poutine, will donate $1,000,000 to the President's "Barely Legal Defense & Slush Fund".

WHN EXCLUSIVE: Mr. Giuliani, in non-legal proceedings at the Four Seasons Landscaping conference driveway, claimed a HUGE Trump popular vote win. Mr. Giuliani and the President assert that millions of illegal Biden votes had been cast.... or maybe ... that voting machines selectively changed Trump, but not other Republican, votes to Biden... or maybe... that little green aliens had invaded earth (or at least Pennsylvania, Arizona Michigan, Wisconsin and Georgia) and voted for Biden...  In legal proceedings, Mr. Giuliani's team has focused on 'non-zero' republican poll watchers.  World Headline News © 2020 Ned Ander-Thal.

Biden's Response to Trump

Tired of Covfefe-19?

You'll Love Cult 45!

"I hope I don't 'Soil' my briefs!"

See the WHN's 2016 "Endorsement" of Donald Trump

And we thought

he would

just play






USA Covid Report

Daily Average:  > 150,000/day

Total Cases:     > 11,358,000

Total Dead:           > 247,000


Most Votes Ever!

Exclusive to the

World Headline News