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February 20, 2022   •   Issue 163

TAKEOVER OF REPUBLICAN PARTY APPEARS COMPLETE

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GASP: REPUBLICAN NATIONAL COMMITTEE DECLARES JANUARY 6, 2021

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!?! 'Legitimate' !?!

Almost Washington State (WHN) February 20, 2022. "HANG MIKE PENCE!" chanted by an out of control pro-Trump mob attacking Capital police officers, smearing feces on the walls of the Capital, and obstructing (albeit temporarily) the peaceful transfer of power in the nations capital was "legitimate political discourse"... so declared the Republican National Committee at it's recent meeting in Salt Lake City.

A 'vindicated' Donald Trump stated: "My people were simply exercising their constitutional rights to smear feces and attack Antifa protestors dressed as Capital Police. I mean, they were angry that Hillary Clinton's long lost bother Mike Pence did not fulfill his constitutional duty as the omnipotent VP and ignore the will of the voters and anoint me for another 4 year term. Everybody I know confirms that the VP has the power and right to overturn an election if I decide they should do so.... Of course that right only applies to white, male, Republican V.P.s... that Kamala woman should have no rights at all.  

Pence should have done what I told him to. In the Mafia, a true democracy if I have ever seen one, a disloyal capo, er, I mean quisling, er, ah, VICE President would be 'swimmin' wit da fishes' if he did what Pence did. In fact, hanging would be too good for that loser - I should treat him like I do my subcontractors and stiff him on his invoices. But hey, I'm a forgiving guy.  I'll give Mikey one more chance.  Mike, I declare you VP for one more day day, proactively PARDON ALL MY FUTURE CONVICTIONS and all is forgiven. Especially if you announce that you also changed your mind and that you accept all my hand-picked electors after all from Georgia, Arizona, Wisconsin, Michigan, Pennsylvania and Nevada and herby declare me President effective yesterday.  I've got some papers that the New York Attorney General is trying to get hold of that need to be disposed of and ONLY my Presidential toilet can handle my load... of paper."     

"Legitimate Political Discourse"

Missing, Taken, Flushed, Shredded and Burn-Bagged: National Archives Requests Department of Justice Look Into Trump’s misHandling of White House Presidential Records

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In Strangely Related News

WHN EXCLUSIVE: Mr. Trump demonstrates how he handles sensitive and historical documents at a press conference in the lobby of his Mar-a-Loco, er Lago residence.  © 2022 Ned Ander-Thal, World Headline News

Almost Washington State (WHN) February 20, 2022. The Presidential Records Act was passed in 1978 as a result of the willful destruction of White House documents and recordings by President President Richard Nixon during the Watergate Scandal. The act directs that ALL Presidential records (print, phone, electronic, etc) belong to the public, not the President. Moreover, ALL records must be keep and can ONLY be destroyed upon approval of the Archivist of the United States. While explicit in it's language, the Act is light on the prescribed penalties for Oval occupants who violate the law. Hence, the Act was not designed for a President as lawless (and shameless) as Trump who willfully disregarded any and all aspects of the act. Indeed, White House archivists were kept busy recovering protected documents that had been torn up by Mr. Trump, inappropriately place in 'burn-bags' (for destruction) by Mr. Trump and members of his administration and more uncomfortably, recovered from the toilet drains of the White House bathrooms.  Other documents simply vanished and some classified documents were secreted away to Trump properties such as Mar-a-Loco, er, Lago. Many of these classified and unclassified documents relate to Mr. Trump's two impeachments, his efforts to overturn the 2020 election, and the events of January 6, 2021.

WHN Reporter Ned Ander-Thal documented (unfortunately with photographic evidence) Mr. Trump's "Executive Time Document Handling" on the porcelain throne, er, document disposal system.  According to the evidence obtained by the WHN, Mr. Trump tweeted and read virtually all of his briefing materials and correspondence on the 'throne' allowing for the 'easy cleanup' (should have bought a bidet!) of unfavorable documents.  For inspiration, within the Temple of Solitude and Document Disposal Center (referred to as "The Oval Office Gentlemen's Club"), Mr. Trump kept a small bronze of "The Thinker" by Rodin, a collection of the all time greatest issues of Playboy© and his "TO DO While DooDoo-ing" list. But Mr. Trump was a stinker, er, stickler, for the proper disposal of sensitive incriminating documents: "I flushed at least 10-15 times to assure that the archivists couldn't recover the documents.... and I typically deposited my own special formulation (with 13 herbs and spice) on top of the documents to further obscure their readability - much less their 'hand-ability'. I call it my KFC formula: Keep Flushing Crap... I hate those archival stool pigeons tattling on me..."  

Omicron B.2 studies suggest that it may be even more infective that the original B.1 variant and may also have the morbidity & mortality risks of the deadly Delta strain.

Coronavirus and Trump News

What Doesn't Kill You, Mutates and Tries Again

Trump 2024 studies suggest that he  may be more dangerous to American democracy than the original 2016 variant. Mike Pence and Democrats are reported to be at high risk of experiencing dangerous morbidity and mortality.

A Small Minority of Canadian Truckers Revolt!

Almost Washington State (WHN) February 20, 2022.  Despite claims of 50,000 trucks, less than 500 (at most) Big Rigs have attempted to paralyze Canada and force the end of trans-border vaccine/testing rules and, ultimately, the resignation of Prime Minister Justin Trudeau. While the 'wild-cat' strikers lacked the support of any major truckers unions/organizations, they have successfully raised millions of dollars to support their cause.  Interestingly, a majority of the donors, and almost half the money, came from United States citizens. The American generosity can be attributed to the coverage of the trucker protest on American right wing media ("Tucker's Truckers!") and 'support' from conservative American politicians ("Rand (Paul) is Randy For Truckers!"). Indeed, the truckers MOST VOCAL supporters are American politicians and right-wing television personalities as support for the truckers from within Canada has been tepid at best. However, following the recent ouster of Conservative leader Erin O'Toole, the interim head of the Conservative Party has expressed some support for the truckers - largely due to the fact that the truckers are targeting the Liberal Party.... and the increasing 'Trumpitization' of Canadian politics.  

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Complain that Canada Requires Vaccinations or COVID Tests for Cross-Border Trucking!

Interestingly, so does the American Government. Even if Canada relented, they'd still have the same rules...

WHN EXCLUSIVE: Caught in the act of document disposal!?!  © 2022 Ned Ander-Thal, World Headline News

WHN EXCLUSIVE: BIG HOUSE (aka, White House) drama unfolds on January 6, 2021. On this one day, every four years, the Vice President of the United States become the omnipotent ruler of the United States.... at least according to the Trump Doctrine.  © 2022 Ned Ander-Thal, World Headline News

Out of office for over a year, one man still dominate the news.....

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