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Il Trumpe: Lessons Learned ?

Why I Want to Be A King, Sheik or Whatever the Hell They are Called There…

Buy:  Donald J. Trump

June 15, 2017   •   Issue 93

Exclusive to the

World Headline News

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Exclusive WHN Report

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Surrey (WHN)  As momentum increases in the Russia and Obstruction of Justice investigations, White House sources are increasingly worried about the mental health of Il Trumpe.  Despite the round the clock care provided by Ivanka (see story), "The Donald" has become increasingly fixated on Mr. Comey, Hillary Clinton and FBI.  This Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) has resulted in Il Trumpe's firing of Mr. Comey and the appointment of former FBI Director Robert Muller as Special Counsel in charge of the Il Trumpe Investigation.

Consequent to these events, Special WHN Investigator Ned Ander-Thal reports that The Donald is busy at work on Art of the Deal Volume 2.  In this book, The Donald attempts to negotiate with Federal Prosecutors for 2 years versus 20 years.....  When asked by Mr. Ander-Thal what the rational behind "The Deal" is, Il Trumpe stated  "I've had lots of deals in the past where I've settled with the IRS and Banks for 10 cents on the dollar, I think we could make this work here as well."  

Make Sure You Know Which Gun Show To Go To....

"Damn you Reince Priebus, this is the last time I trust you"

= Unhinged?

Lesson Learned

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A WHN Exclusive Recap of Il Trumpe's

LESSONS LEARNED

Foreign and Domestic

The Next 100 Days of the Il Trumpe Administration got off to a rocky start as The Donald showed up at the WRONG NRA Gun Show (top). White House Spokesperson Sean Spicer informed the press that Il Trumpe's motorcade was mistakenly sent to a "show of guns" in a 'bad part' of Chicago.  The Donald, ever the affable, but clearly nervous, politician was politely coerced to pose with the "Second Amendment Club of Riverdale". The Secret Service, not allowed to fly 1st Class with the President, was clearly absent as their low-cost flight went to the right city.

In an interview with WHN White House Correspondent Ned Ander-Thal, The Donald told the real story: "I was pissed.  Melania, who was my driver as she was trying to earn some extra spending money, took a wrong turn because of the poor directions that Reince Priebus wrote out on a gum wrapper just as we were driving away from Air Force One." Fortunately for AMERICA, Steve (Machinegun) Bannon tweeted the correct city (Atlanta) and address of the NRA gun show to Il Trumpe.  Hopping back on Air Force One, Il Trumpe arrived at HIS convention and posed with TRUE Americans at the gun show (below).    

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Can jail Journalists with Impunity!

Can Ban Protesters with Impunity!

Who needs a pen?  Can “Remove” Opposition Politicians with the Stroke of a Sword. Forget "You're Fired!", try "You're Headless!"

Can have 4 wives (AT ONCE!), versus 1 at a time.  Hey, Melania, you were number 3, but now I can have 3 more!

Oil, lots of oil - almost enough for Eric and Donald Jr. slicked back hair!

No need for a re-election campaign!

Children can inherit Throne! (But not you Tiffany)

Fake News!

Fake News!

Fake News!

FAKE NEWS!

FAKE NEWS!

"My America"

Donald J. Trumpe

The Bellevue Psychiatric Hospital (aka Bellevue Insane Asylum) was founded in 1736 with a "pavilion for the insane" opening in 1876 - coincidentally around the same time that Il Trumpe's grandfather immigrated to America...

The Trumpe Towers-Bellevue is undergoing a secret $1 Billion renovation by the Trumpe Organization in anticipation of his arrival and should be ready for Il Trumpe by late 2018.


Rumors also abound that Il Trumpe is negotiating for his stay to be at the soon to be renovated Trumpe Towers-Bellevue (formerly the Bellevue Insane Asylum).

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Suite

Lessons Well Learned

Lesson NOT Learned

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Comey + Commies

I'm Smart

World Misses "No Drama Obama"

Triumph in Arabia

and NOT Learned

How do those tiny hands hold the chalk?