The Age of "TRUTHS"
Senior Presidential Advisor Stephen (Steve) Bannon played the key role in creating the new Federal Department and in recruiting Alex Jones as the inaugural Secretary-Elect of the Department of "TRUTHS". Mr. Bannon, formerly lead Editor of the "TRUTHS" website Breitbart News, said it was essential to find a person who could not distinguish between "TRUTHS" and facts to lead the Federal Department; "It was imperative that we found a person who could believe in the unbelievable as "TRUTHS" so often are unbelievable. Alex Jones is such a man. He knows no facts, just gut "TRUTHS"." Mr. Jones, best known for his "TRUTHS" website www.infowars.com will bring to the Federal Government the same 'disbeliefs in facts' as he brought to the internet. Both Mr. Trump and Mr. Bannon frequently re-tweeted Mr. Jones's "TRUTHS" during the 2016 Presidential Campaign. Per Mr. Jones, who stated"I just can't hold back the truth anymore", these "TRUTHS" include:
• Obama is illegal alien who was born in Kenya; Birth Certificate forged.
• Obama is a Muslim jihadist and radical leftist.
• Hillary Clinton has personally murdered, chopped up and raped scores of children.
• Pizza restaurant is center for pedophilia ring and Hillary Clinton is at its center.
• John Podesta [Clinton's Campaign manager] indulges in satanic rituals.
• Methodist Churches (due to its liberal drift) converting to "virtual mosques" for Muslims.
• Liberals announce that "White people are a plague to the planet"
• Liberals agree nothing wrong with incest, totally normal.
(EDITOR: these are REAL stories that appeared on InfoWars in 2016)
Mr. Trump looks forward to "the great work" the Department of "TRUTHS" will produce over the next four years. The 'general' philosophy of the new Department was summed up by Michael G. Flynn, son of incoming National Security Advisor Lt. General Mike Flynn (and repeat "TRUTHS" twitter-ite and leader of the chorus "Lock her up! Lock her up!" at the Republican National Convention) . Mr. Flynn proudly proclaimed, "Until these "TRUTHS" are proven false, they'll remain "TRUTHS". Can Hillary PROVE she hasn't chopped up children? I BELIEVE that Chelsea Clinton had 5 brothers and 4 sisters - what happened to them? Chop, chop!?"
The NEW AGE OF "TRUTHS" will commence in full on January 20, 2017. Subsequent to that date, any and all facts must be passed through the U.S. Department of "TRUTHS" to assure their harmony with established "TRUTHS". As per Departmental policy, "TRUTHS Trumps Facts", any facts found to inconveniently challenge or refute a "TRUTH" we be subject to a Presidential "Denial" (similar to a "Veto" but with much greater impact). Individuals caught transporting or repeating a "DENIED" fact (in the face of a conflicting "TRUTH") will be sentenced to a minimum of 1 year in prison and revocation of their U.S. Citizenship.
In accordance with new regulations established by the U.S. Department of "TRUTHS", the World Headline News is required to provide our readers with appropriate listings for Bastions of "TRUTHS" and to warn our readers of "Sites of Factual Debauchery". According to the Department of "TRUTHS", sites deemed "Websites of FACTUAL Debauchery", while currently legal, will come under increasing legal restrictions for the inappropriate use of facts that undermine the "Truths of Trump". Soon to be announced changes to US Libel Laws will outlaw the use of facts as a defense; thus assuring the economic destruction of (as defined by the new Law) "factual 'venereal' sites" such as the New York Times and the World Headline News. Fortunately for our WHN readers, the World Headlines News took the proactive step of relocating our World Headquarters to Canada thus insulating us, at least to some extent, from the Trumped Up Libel Laws.
The Age of "TRUTHS"
"TRUTHS" Trumps FACTS
Exclusive to the World Headline News
Exclusive WHN Report:
December 7, 2016 • A Date That Lives in Infamy
President-Elect Donald J. Trump stands in front of the exquisite gold leafed ELEVATOR leading to the NEW U.S. Department of "TRUTHS" located in the Old U.S. Post Office Building (in space leased from the Trump International Hotel - Washington, D.C.). The Department has recruited key personnel from established Bastions of "TRUTHS" and will hit the ground running on January 20, 2017.
Bastions of "TRUTHS"
Washington via Surrey (WHN) Esteemed WHN Political and LifeStyle reporter Ned Ander-Thal was in attendance as President-Elect Donald J. Trump announced one of his first actions as President: the creation of the U.S. Department of "Truths". Heralding the beginning of The Age of "TRUTHS" , the mission of the new Federal Department is to promote "TRUTHS" as defined by Mr. Trump and his Senior Administration Members. Per Mr. Trump, "We're tired of the boring facts spouted by the liberal media, what the world needs are "TRUTHS", things you feel in your gut, things that you know are true... or at least should be true. "TRUTHS" are acts of faith that, regardless of their veracity, if you believe in them hard enough, they must be factual. "TRUTHS" are unencumbered by facts and reality and only need to be shouted often and loudly to make them reality. I proved this in the last election which I won on "TRUTHS" alone." Indeed, during the 2016 Presidential Campaign, Candidate Trump's "TRUTHS" overwhelmed any and all established and credible facts and findings leading to the mission statement of the new U.S. Department of "TRUTHS":
"TRUTHS" Trumps Facts
Please use Caution when viewing these sites, as facts can be uncomfortable and impede acceptance of "TRUTHS".
Please suspend rational thought when viewing these sites, as rational thinking can be uncomfortable and dangerous.
UPDATE: Partial List of
"FAKE News Sites"
as presented on www.infowars.com
– The New York Times
– The Washington Post
– NBC News
– CBS News
– ABC News
– The Huffington Post
– Rolling Stone
– BBC News
– Sky News
– Financial Times
– New York Daily News
– L.A. Times
– USA Today
– US News & World Report
– Business Insider
"Hey, they left us off the list! Those Bastards!"
December 7, 2016 • Issue 87