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Satire Since 1993

Q-Science: Reality vs 'Reality'

Trump: "I won in 2020, the world is quite possibly flat, and COVID is nothing more than a common cold. I'm the best President ever and we should suspend the individual right to vote for President and let the state legislatures decide who won the Presidential vote in the state. Now let's CELEBRATE the patriots of January 6!"

Reality vs 'Reality'

October 12, 2021   •   Issue 156

100% 'Free-dumb'

0% Responsibility

WHN EXCLUSIVE: Since the late 1940s, concerned citizens have been raising alarm at the increasing use of chemtrails by the liberal elitists.The WHN recently contacted the Infamous Q-Scientist Dr. Igno 'Billy Bob' Ramus from University Oxford, acknowledged as the foremost expert on chemtrail use by the DEEP STATE, who stated that virtually all flights originating out of New York City, Los Angeles, Seattle, San Francisco, Chicago, and, showing the international scope of the DEEP STATE conspiracy, Vancouver, Canada are part of the DEEP STATE Chemtrail Fleet and are spraying American citizens with the mRNA vaccine. Casualties are expected to be in the tens of millions.   World Headline News © 2021 Ned Ander-Thal.

Almost Washington State (WHN) October 12, 2021. Since the late 1940s, concerned AMERICANS have been raising alarms at the increasing use of chemtrails by the DEEP STATE liberal elitists in Washington D.C., London, Paris, and Ottawa. According to some experts, Chemtrail Technology®, was derived from secret NAZI experiments conducted from 1932-1945. These experiments fell into the hands of the DEEP STATE shadow US government in 1946. While the NAZI technology was initially limited by the technology of the time, V2 rockers and ME-109 fighter jets, rapid advances in jet propulsion in the 1950s led to the mass chemtrail poisoning of true AMERICANS  by liberal DEEP STATE elements both within and outside the government. Current 'research' has demonstrated that the America of 1950 no longer exists today solely because of the chemtrail poisoning of true AMERICANS and, over time, western European citizens.  

Chemtrail poisoning has been used for both domestic control and in the battlefield. In 1963 U.S. President Lyndon Johnson repurposed the secret US Chemtrail Fleet to spread Agent Orange over Vietnam in an attempt to win the Vietnam war.  But this had unexpected domestic consequences. Due to the the relocation of the chemtrail fleet to Vietnam, the lack of tranquilizers chemtrails over the United States led to the civil unrest of the 1960-70s. Indeed, behind closed doors, many conservatives have long lamented that decreased domestic chemtrail delivery led to unexpected social disasters such as the rise of desegregation, increased voting right acts, legalized abortion, and, worse of all, disco. The lingering effects of chemtrail depletion lasted until Ronald Regan gained the White House in 1980. Sources within todays Republican Party admit, despite a public stance against mass-treatment of the public via chemtrails, that the party does support use of chemtrail agents in select parts of the U.S.; "We think the the, he-he, 'liberal' use of tranquilizers over large metropolitan cities like San Francisco, New York, university campuses and other bastions of liberal thought is highly advisable - especially during election cycles and then at VERY high doses to suppress voter turnout."

Most recently, following the highly improbable defeat of Donald Trump by Joe Biden in the 2020 Election, the MAGA-verse is all atwitter (except for Trump who is Twitter-less) as to how such a clearly untrue event could have occurred. While early 'research' focused on Chinese bamboo ballots in Arizona, the Cyber Ninjas investigation failed to find bamboo [Cyber Ninjas Report: "It was 100% CANADIAN pine! Trudeau was behind it all!"]. However, recent Q-reports suggest that the Cyber Ninjas are actually be foreign agents... Ninjas are Asians after all! Hence, the Arizona findings are deemed highly suspect.  The most current line of investigation is focused on the reported mass deployment of the secretive Soros owned DEEP STATE Chemtrail Fleet which has been accused of spraying mind altering, pro-Biden, drugs over the US during the 2020 election cycle.

Subsequent to the 'election' of Biden in November 2020, chemtrail usage has exponentially INCREASED in 2021 according to Q scientists. Infamous Q-Scientist Dr. Igno 'Billy Bob' Ramus from Oxford University [EDITOR: Dr. Ignor Ramus lives at the corner of Oxford St. and University Avenue in Macon County, Georgia], the foremost expert on DEEP STATE chemtrail use, has reported that virtually all flights originating out of New York City, Los Angeles, Seattle, San Francisco, Chicago, and, showing the international scope of the DEEP STATE conspiracy, Vancouver, Canada, are part of the Soros DEEP STATE Chemtrail Fleet.  

In his secure garage laboratory, Dr. Ramus has been conducting research on this most recent chemtrail poisoning by a Democratic Administration  asking the question of WHAT WAS IN THE CHEMTRAILS!? "What are they sprayin' us with today, you might ask: well, I'll tell you that my detailed analysis of the contrails show that it is composed of the mRNA vaccine! It is an evil plot by the Biden Administration to poison god-fearing Republicans.  While some 'main-stream' scientists deny that it is mRNA vaccine, even they will all have to admit that it contains HUGE amounts of dihydrogen monoxide, hydrogen hydroxide, and/or dihydrogen oxide.* Do you really want to be bathed in this toxic mix of chemicals? My research conclusively shows that these chemicals are what those nazi-vaccine scientists suspend the 'mark of the devil' vaccine in!  Go ahead Pfizer and Moderna, just try to deny that those chemicals are NOT in your formulations! I expect millions will die! - though of course the DEEP STATE will claim that all the dead were unvaccinated COVID victims. The only way to stop this carnage is to put Donald Trump immediately back into the White House. Only by killing 'democracy' can we stop the Soros DEEP STATE Chemtrail fleet!"

The Biden Administration, in a clear sign of complicity with the DEEP STATE, has refused to meaningfully comment on the use of the Soros DEEP STATE Chemtrail Fleet to deliver the mRNA vaccine. When challenged with Dr. Igno Ramus's scientific findings,  Jen Psaki, White House Press Secretary, cleverly (a clear sign she is a Deep State Apparatchik) replied"What are you, insane?".

*All these terms 'can' be used to describe H2O; most commonly referred to as 'water'.

NEW FEATURE: Understanding The GQP Science Q-ricculum

The Universal Law of Mammalian Urination

The Mathematics & Engineering of Natures Plumbing!

Ground breaking, or at least ground moisturizing, studies conducted by mechanical engineering scientists at the Georgia Institute of Technology have demonstrated that the average time of urination by all male and female mammals over 3 kg in size is approximately 21±13 seconds.

The chemtrail conspiracy theory promotes the belief that long-lasting condensation trails left in the sky by high-flying aircraft are "chemtrails" consisting of chemical or biological agents. The agents are being sprayed on the population by governments, the secret deep state, or other evil organizations for nefarious purposes.  

I mean, how else can you explain people voting for Biden instead of Trump....

WHY the universality in pee time you might ask? It is straight forward plumbing and fluid flow physics: "...the urethra is a flow-enhancing device, enabling the urinary to be scaled up by a factor of 3,600 in volume without compromising its function."

While this research has been 'condemned' by privacy advocates ("ewww, why is this person timing me in the bathroom"), this crucial information, per the paper, "may help diagnose urinary problems in animals as well as inspire the design of scalable hydrodynamic systems based on those in nature."

While the WHN does not want to 'piss-off' our more sensitive readers, you can watch the informational video here:  https://youtu.be/z6DGSOZXK4I

SPEAKING OF WATER...

OTHER SCIENCE NEWS!

REPUBLICANS: JANUARY 6, 2021, IT'S ALL WATER UNDER THE BRIDGE

BUT LETS KEEPING LYING ABOUT THE RESULTS OF NOVEMBER 3, 2020

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While the staff members of the WHN are NOT generally fans of Bill Maher, he has laid out an all too real blueprint for the 2024 DEATH OF AMERICAN DEMOCRACY.

The foundations of the coup are already being laid in place.

[Click on the photo at RIGHT to see the YOUTUBE VIDEO]

•  Jewish Space Lasers

•  Replacement Theory

•  Chemtrails

•  mRNA Trackers

•  Cannibalistic Democratic Cabals

•  Rigging Voting Machines

EARN MONEY FAST!

Caliphate of Texanistan

IMPOSES NEW 'EARNING OPPORTUNITY'

Do you know a 'wayward' woman who is with unwanted child? Is she contemplating the unthinkable? Report the criminal and all her criminal accomplices (Uber driver, best friend, spiritual consultant, and more!) to the Stasi, err, Authorities, and claim up to:

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Bonus Science News!

FINALLY, SOME GOOD EXTINCTION NEWS!

https://xkcd.com/2523

Koutsakos, M., Wheatley, A.K., Laurie, K. et al. Influenza lineage extinction during the COVID-19 pandemic?. Nat Rev Microbiol (2021). https://doi.org/10.1038/s41579-021-00642-4

FUTURE Q AMERICA

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