The Imperial Trump
Also shown in the National Gallery Portrait is the Imperial Staff of the House of Trumpe (5). The staff displays a defining trait of the Trumpe line, small hands. Indeed, the finely crafted ivory fingers of the staff were prepared from a plaster mold prepared from from Il Trumpe the 1st left hand. Also captured by Mr. Ander-Thal in the painting is the "universal and unbridled love that women have for our Dear Leader!" [Editor - see hat - actual Trump quote]. Art critics, while expressing mixed feelings about the portraits of the Obamas, have universally praised Ned Ander-Thal's modern masterpiece. Indeed, noted Michelangelo expert M.D. Scott stated, "Rembrandt, Monet, Pollick and should not be mentioned in the same breadth as Ned Ander-Thal." Praise has also been heaped upon Ned Ander-Thal for his skillful sculpture of Il Trumpe the 1st (see parade float below). The "Trump in Reflection" sculpture was sculpted from a block pure 24K gold discovered in the TRUMP Fort Knox Mines (Located south of Louisville, KY, USA). Interestingly, the location where the TRUMP Fort Knox Mines are located were bought by Trump International (shortly after Trump's 2017 inauguration) from the U.S. Federal government as surplus real estate for the exorbitantly large sum of $23.87. Geologically speaking, gold was not expected, but Trumpe's Midas Touch struck once again when, preparing to grow mushrooms, caverns full of gold were discovered instead. Rumors abound that the "Trump in Reflection" sculpture will replace the, per Trumpe, "Very old, very plain piece of rock" Lincoln statue within a newly remodeled GOLD "Trumpe Memorial".
White House Spokeswoman Sarah Huckabee Sanders, in announcing the new portrait, stated that "Unlike the pretender to the throne a Mr. Obama, who waited until he was disposed to announce his Presidential portrait, Mr. Trumpe, er, Il Trumpe the 1st, is of such historical significance as a leader that his portrait was released at the start of his reign so that the serfs, er, citizens of Trumpistan, er, the current United States, could bask in his glory. Indeed, this momentus occassion calls for a National Parade to celebrate Il Trumpe the 1st. Long live the House of Trumpe!"
WHITE HOUSE Releases Official National Gallery Portrait of
His Royal Highness Il Trumpe Ist
Painted by noted Artist Ned Ander-Thal
Exclusive to the World Headline News
February 14, 2018 • Issue 101
Almost Washington State (WHN) One year into the Presidency of Donald J. Trump, the White House has released the official portrait of His Presidency Il Trumpe the 1st. The portrait, painted by noted artist and renaissance man, Ned Ander-Thal, was unveiled at the National Gallery on Valentines Day 2018 (Feb 14) as a heart felt gift to the Trumpistan, er, American people. The masterful oil painting denotes His Imperial Highness seated on the newly installed Oval Office Dias and throne.
Not only does Mr. Ander-Thal capture the regal nature of His Highness the President, but the artist has also captured Mr. Trumpe's illustrious heritage and his future greatness. This was done using in-depth genealogical analysis of the Trumpe linage. This analysis shows that Mr. Trumpe's male lineage is filled with individuals of untowed historical significance. Included in the portrait are key ancestors (and one 'sequel') that have shaped the man who will become known to history as His Imperial Highness and Supreme Ruler of Trumpistan, Il Trumpe 1st. These key individuals include:
1. Napoleon Trumparte: Paternal Great Great Uncle. Famous French Emperor known from the successful overthrow of the French Republic and collusion, er, collision with Russia.
2. Benito Trumpollini: Paternal Cousin once removed (perhaps explaining the lack of collusion with Russia). Italian Leader known for his great military victory against the combined army, navy and air forces of Monaco and San Marino. Trumpollini viciously killed almost 100% of the infidel invaders (9 out of the 10 individuals consisting the combined forces) despite serious pain due to bone spurs.
3. Adolf Drumph: Great Uncle to Il Trumpe the 1st. Ruled Trumpe's ancestral homeland from 1932-1945. Drumph is said to be the inspiration for the domestic and foreign policies of Il Trumpe the 1st. Regime brought down by collusion, then collision, with Russia. History repeating itself?
4. His Royal Highness and Supreme Ruler of Trumpistan, the FUTURE Emperor Il Trumpe II. Il Trumpe II is being cloned and raised in a secret bunker that was imported from Berlin, Germany because, as all Trumpites know, Germany builds the BEST leaders. The clone is being grown from the overly abundant hair follicles found on Il Trumpe the 1st luxourius and very fulsome scalp.
Il Trumpe I, His Imperial Highness and Supreme Ruler of Trumpistan and, of lesser significance, the 45th (and last?) President of The United States. Official portrait unveiled at the National Gallery. Artist: Ned Ander-Thal
Sarah Huckabee Sanders stated that "In comparison to Il Trumpe Ist official portrait, his predecessor's portrait obviously shows Mr. Obama's peasant upbringing and his work in the coffee fields of Kenya. Mrs. Obama's painting is obviously unfinished as it lacks the subtle background content of truly classic art thus failing to provide the dignified nuances of the Ander-Thal masterpiece of Il Trumpe Ist . Note how dignified our leader is and the love of the people towards him. I mean women swoon at his feet."
Artists: Kehinde Wiley (left) and Amy Sherald (top)