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Satire

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Taco Tuesday 2016

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Surrey (WHN) With the 2016 Election drawing ever closer, Donald J. Trump has refocused his efforts on WINNING! the Presidency by appealing to his American supporters. Candidate Trump, in front of a cheering crowd at the Shadybrook Trailer Park and RV Storage complex in Backwater, Florida proclaimed, "The election is rigged! That lying and cheating Hillary, who should be in jail, is busy busing in rapist Mexicans from Tijuana to vote on Tuesday, November 8 to steal our American Dream!  Shame on her, she is nasty!  Tuesday November 8, 2016 will forever be known as Taco Tuesday if I lose!".    Mr. Trump's claims are are being supported by Latinos for Trump founder Marco Gutierrez who states. "IF Trump loses there will be Taco Trucks® on every corner."  Indeed, in a WHN Exclusive, Mr. Gutierrez has provided to our loyal readers a photo of the 'Nasty Bandido Clinton' captured while she was recruiting voters in Mexico.  Per Mr. Gutierrez, "The Nasty Bandido Clinton, she is worse than El Chapo and almost as bad as El Gusano in the Mezcal."

October 25, 2016

TRUMP'ed up  CHARGES

Election Day Is Now "Taco Tuesday!"

America Says "Thank you Hillary, I'm really hungry!"

Exclusive to the World Headline News

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Exclusive WHN Report:

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Per Mr. Trump and Latinos for Trump founder Marco Gutierrez, the Nasty Bandido Clinton's plans are that  the smuggled "bad hombres" will vote "Hillary" on November 8 in exchange for free Taco Trucks® (see photo below) and a dedicated street corner in all major and minor American cities.  To meet the goal of a Taco Truck® on every corner, the Trump campaign estimates that the Nasty Bandido Clinton has successfully recruited an army of 122,300,000 illegal Mexican voters - i.e., the ENTIRE population of Mexico.  Indeed, while this number seems high, it is the ONLY way that the Nasty Bandido Clinton can win since Mr. Trump is virtually assured to win the votes of  every red-blooded American citizen that is currently, and legally, registered to vote (146,311,000).  Even with the Mexican fraud, the Nasty Bandido Clinton is sure to lose based on the numbers alone; so how does she become El Presidente?  Per Mr. Trump, "Her solution is simple, but nothing new for Ms. Clinton, murder, mass murder.  Vince Foster times 100 billion."  As Mr. Trump implores us to remember, "These are 'Nasty Hombres' that the even Nastier Bandido Clinton has recruited."


Not surprisingly, the few disloyal Americans working for Ms. Clinton deny these allegations.  Spokesperson Peter T. Barnum states; "Despite the convincing photo documentation presented by the WHN, 'Seniorita', er, Secretary of State Clinton has not recruited illegal aliens, these people are human beings and they live on our planet, to vote in the rigged, oops, open access, elections.  We suspect that the photos introduced by the WHN were taken while a young Miss Rodham was a university student on Spring Break from Wellesley College in 1967.  Indeed, you will notice that it is a black and white photo; a common film in the 1950's and 60's when Ms. Rodham was a party animal."  


Other putative Americans were also blasé about Mr. Trump's fear-mongering.  Typical "American" Mr. Ned Ander-Thal, when asked about Mr. Trump's claims stated, "I like tacos.  Thank you Hillary, I'm really hungry and the trucks are so convenient - they seem to be everywhere!"

The Nasty El Bandido Hillary Clinton recruiting hombres, er, 'voters' in Mexico.  

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Evidence of Voter Fraud or Delicious Food?

YOU DECIDE!

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October 25, 2016