Surrey (WHN) The Dolly-Llama, (photo right), the Supreme Leader of Bubba-ism, the has visited Canada for the first time. In contrast to her 1993 visit to Albania (see WHN Issue 15), her visit this time was one of pure pleasure as she served as the Keynote Chanter at the WHN’s 21st Anniversary (1993-2014).
According to the Dolly-Llama, “This has been the highlight of my life to date. Just think, I had the honor to praise Ned Ander-Thal, Founder, Editor and Publisher of the WHN...the outstanding voice of freedom in the Western World, the purveyor of truth, justice and the American, and now Canadian, way, the light of civilization, the geyser of human hope, the source of countless legal free to Finkelstein, Levine, Gittelson & Tetenbaum. And by golly that Swanky Place is the nicest temple I’ve ever chanted in!
Forced to leave Tibet for Nashville in 1959 the Dolly-Llama has recently declared that South Surrey (located in the tropical Canadian Southwest) is the new spiritual homeland of Bubba-ism. The Dolly Llama is best known in Canada and the USA for her soulful prayer chants (e.g., Best Little Llama House in Tibet; Praying 9 to 5; and Stand by Your Prayer Wheel).
Dolly-Llama in Traditional
Bubba-ism Prayer Shawl
While Bubba-ism is a major religion
in much of the United States (e.g., south of the Mason-Dixon
line and west of the Mississippi). Despite the large number of adherents, many WHN
readers are not familiar with the basic tenants of this religion. As a service to our readers, here
are the basic beliefs and traditions of Bubba-ism:
• Believes in the sanctity of Ford trucks.
• Sings praises to St. Jack Daniels.
• Extols virtues of hard living (but not hard work).
• Wears ceremonial prayer sandals called “Shee-It Kick-Eeerrs”
• Holds religious services in temples called “Honky-Tonks”.
• Baptisms utilize a special holy water with the acronym B.E.E.R.
• Common vernacular has no words containing more than two syllables (e.g., "Yo, Dolly, whar’s the beer?").
• Prayer shawls embedded with rare stones found only in Rhine, Tennessee.
• Name children after wayward woofs (e.g., Billy Bob, Bob-Bob, and Lassie) .
• Watch sophisticated (or in their vernacular, bo-dacious) television shows such as “Baywatch” (Ain’t that there Pamela Lee Anderson one fine actress!)
Dolly-Llama Makes Pilgrimage To South Surrey And 21st WHN Anniversary Party
Exclusive to the World Headline News
Exclusive WHN Report:
January 14, 2014