"GOOD NEWS" FROM THE WHITE HOUSE!

TRUMP'S ALL NEW

PRO-CHOICE AGENDA!

March 23, 2025   •   Issue 199 (of 200?)

NOTICE: Beginning in 2025 the World Headline News will begin transitioning our main web address to www.thewhn.com.  However, www.thewhn.ca will also remain live for the foreseeable future.

The CANADA Goose

A Threat To America!

Trump Renames Them The 'AMERICAN GOOSES'

Almost Washington State (WHN) March 23, 2025.  Despite the White House banning the WHN [EDITOR: specifically, Ned Ander-Thal due to Melania's obvious flirtation with him; just her flirtation with Justin Trudeau brought the wrath of Trump onto Canada], our journalistic integrity will not allow the WHN to simply rollover like the average American billionaire oligarch.  Using professional Albanian hackers, we have obtained an exclusive photo (compliments of the servers of Russian state media - the ONLY accredited White House media group) capturing a dramatic scene in the Oval Office as the American King and his President prepare to demolish the 'deep state' in Washington, D.C.  Indeed, the  photo appears to show the actual tools the "TNT-Bros"  will use to both dramatically downsize the American government and to permanently silence any pesky administration critics.

However, the unedited Russian photo shows a third person was in the room and was the one pulling the strings of American governance. According to, now former, intelligence officials, the third person in the photo is suspected to be the REAL mastermind behind the Department of Government Efficiency (DOGE).  When questioned by WHN White House reporter Ned Ander-Thal as to the identity of the mystery man, White House Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt would only 'claim' that "the visitor is the noted French-Canadian humanitarian Mssr. Vlad M.R. Poutine.  I can categorically denies that our GREAT LEADER HAS NO RUSSIAN TIES... his ties are all made in China".  Indeed, if true, this of course would potentially explain Trump's fixation on annexing all of Canada with the possible exception of Quebec and Mr. Musk's prominent role in the Administration to to his extensive CHINA TIES.

However, several now 'recently administratively retired', intelligence officials claim that Mr. Poutine is actually a 'Vladimir Putin' of Russia. These former officials claim that Mr. Trump and, perhaps Musk, have long ties (which Mr. Trump favors) to Mr. Putin.    Indeed, as documented in multiple exclusive WHN photos over the years  Mr. Trump and Mssr. 'Poutine' (aka, Putin) appear to be in constant, often intimate [sorry Melania and Stormy], contact.

Almost Washington State (WHN) March 23, 2025. IF ONE SIMPLY LOOKS AT THE ABSOLUTE DOLLARS, the USA ($412.7 Billion) does import more goods (mostly oil!) from Canada than Canada ($349.4 Billion) does from the USA - a mere $63.3 Million difference.  This difference is the simple number that Trump's ire is focused on.  However, economies are driven by DEMAND and this is largely a product of POPULATION and the USA has 8.5 times the population of Canada. Indeed, if the 'evil' Canadian trade surplus is divided by the demand for Canadian products by the 'extra' 300 million Americans, this amounts to an astounding per capita cost of $0.21 per year.  

Perhaps the BEST way to look at the trade surplus is when imports are calculated on a per capita basis. When imports are calculated on a per capita basis, the average Canadian purchases over 7-times the amount of US goods than what the average American buys in Canadian exports.

Trump Signs EXECUTIVE ORDER Declaring Open Season On Canadians!

er, CANADIAN GEESE

March 23, 2025: "EVIL Canadians infect the geese with avian flu and then send them down in waves over America to poison our chicken farms and, even worse, poop on my golf courses! That's why we don't have cheap eggs for breakfast anymore and why I missed my putt on the 16th hole. I think Trudeau and Biden cooked this up at their commie, egg-laden, breakfast meetings."

WHN EXCLUSIVE: "Facts!? I don't need no stinkin' facts!" King Donald Trump.

© 2025 Ned Ander-Thal, World Headline News

Even More Complex Than The Somewhat Simple Per Capita Calculation Above:

Approximately 90% of Canadians live within 100 miles of the Canada-US border and a large number of these individuals spend a significant portion of their income buying goods (gas, groceries, clothing and larger ticket items like electronics) directly within the USA itself.  These purchases  significantly support local economies and provide significant employment while also adding to both the state and federal sales tax coffers.

A case in point is  the city of Bellingham (population of ~95,000) in Whatcom County, Washington. Bellingham is located just 20 miles from the Canadian border and is a popular shopping destination for metro Vancouver BC (population of ~2,643,000) - a city 28-times larger than Bellingham.  In 2018 it was estimated that ~41% ($152 Million) of Whatcom County's retail sales were to Canadians crossing the border for discretionary (non-food) purchases that could have been made in Canada. To support this finding even more, the per capita sales rate in Bellingham is over twice that of the average for the state suggesting that Canadians buy greater than 50% of the general merchandise [Note: Ned's personal observations are that there are more Canadian license plates in the Bellingham Costco than Washington plates].  Local restaurants also likely benefit from the cross border traffic as most visitors will have 1-2 meals during a day visit. The state also benefits from gasoline taxes.  In the border crossing town of Blaine, Washington, 73% of the gasoline fuel tax collected came from Canadians taking advantage of cheaper USA fuel prices.  

As the GOP rhetoric against, and anger of Canadians towards Trump, heats up, the drop in traffic is likely to accelerate. Following the border closing arising from COVID-19, Whatcom County sales and tax revenues evaporated.  Currently, early evidence suggests that Trump's tirade against Canada is resulting in Canadians boycotting US retailers (as well as cancelling US vacations).  At the Peach Arch border crossing in Blaine (WA), in February 2024 an average of 5,000 cars per day headed to the USA (mostly day trips for shopping).  However, in February 2025 the number of crossing has dropped to 3,500 cars/day.  Previous data indicates that Canadian day shoppers, on average, spend about $100/day, hence, a drop of 1500 visitors would result in an average loss of ~$150,000/day and an annual loss of $55 million per year for 1 single border crossing alone.  Translate this single example to the entirety of the Canada-USA border it is probable that the USA will potentially lose BILLIONS OF DOLLARS IN LOST INCOME AND TAX REVENUE AND A LOSS OF JOBS in border adjacent American businesses, cities, and town. A loss for America, but a WIN for the internal Canada economy as the money remains in Canada.

But It Is Even More Complex Than The Moderately Complex Calculation Above:

Trump has specifically stated that he would destroy the Canadian economy if Canada does not accede to his extreme demands.  Should he succeed this will also negatively impact US border states as a weak Canadian dollar does not encourage Canadians to shop in the USA.  In contrast, Americans would find great deals in Canada and there could be a huge influx of US dollars into the Canadian economy which would partially offset any tariff induces losses.

But It Is Even More Complex Than The Already Complex Calculation Above:

Canada is rich in natural resources - which, based Trump's comments, the White House seems to imply should be only available to the US.  Indeed, currently, Canada's major market for natural resources and manufactured goods is the USA; but that CAN, and perhaps will, change.  

Should the USA be successful in killing the Canadian auto manufacturing capacity (a stated goal of Trump), China's rapidly growing and highly competitive automotive industry might see an attractive opportunity to establish electric car production in Canada as a bridgehead into the North (as well as Central and South) American and European markets.  Ontario has the automotive workers and infrastructure necessary and Canada may very well have the desire to give Trump the "American Eagle" (middle finger) salute.  Mexico is in an ever better position than Canada as they already are the manufacturing site for a whole host of "American" companies.  Indeed, American companies actually manufacture very little in the USA and tend to use contract manufacturers in Mexico or offshore sites to produce the company's goods. Those contract manufacturers could, with some initial expense, switch to similar products from non-American companies.

It is also important to remember, that the American consumer is who ultimately pays the tariff result in inflationary pressures within the USA. IF Trump ultimately forces Canada, Mexico and Europe to curtail/abandon trade relations, or to engage in tit-for-tat tariff wars, with the US, the American, perhaps even the world's, economy will be the one at risk. Many economists and historians state that Global Trade Wars were a/the major contributor to the worldwide Great Depression in the USA (1929-1939) as well as the hyperinflation in Germany which, in essence, led to Hitler rise to power in Germany and World War II.  It is well established, that depressed economy leads to rising discontent and increasing nationalism as people attempt to blame external nations for their problem.

THE HARD FACTS:

Estimated Trade from USA to Canada: $349.4 Billion

     Population of Canada: 40.1 Million

          Per capita purchase of US Goods By A Canadian Person: $8,706

Estimated Trade from Canada to USA: $412.7 Billion

     Population USA: 340.1 Million

          Per capita purchase of Canadian Goods By A US Person: $1,213

CANADA - USA Trade:

LET'S TALK REALITY

Simplistic People (Like Trump)

Actually Don't Want To     

Understand Complex Systems

DISCLAIMER:  While Ned is NOT a financial analyst, he has built a publishing empire and amassed a huge fortune (in the HIGH single digits... admittedly in Canadian Dollars).  Most importantly, Ned has never bankrupted a Casino (or two) that he owned or confused his wife with his mistress [er, which, for Ned, is of course, The World Headline News].

BUT IMPORT-EXPORT STATISTICS DON'T TELL THE WHOLE STORY!

THUS, in reality when the trade figures are calculated on a per capita basis,

the USA HAS A HUGE (7x) TRADE SURPLUS over Canada.

NOW, PLEASE TRY TO HAVE A GREAT DAY!

Trump's USA Rapidly Becoming the:

WORLD'S MOST UNLOVED NATION

TWO NARCISSISTIC PRE-SCHOOLERS

TEAM UP TO CREATE THE QUID-PRO-QUO NATION:

THE WORLD OWES US!

“I don’t think anyone will trust the US government for the next few decades.”

Martin Paasi, Member of the Finnish Parliament

TRUMP: "Fake News! My ties are made in China and Elon doesn't own a tie... but our dynamite does say 'Сделано в Москве'..."

                                                       (Made in Moscow)

White House and Musk

Deny Russian Ties

WHN EXCLUSIVE PHOTO: Compliments of Russian state media (the AP, WHN and virtually other American news outlets have been banned by Trump) a dramatic scene capturing American King Trumpski and Comrade President Muskski preparing to get down to work. Surprisingly captured in the photo is the suspected real mastermind behind actions of the Department of Government Efficiency (DOGE). © 2025 Ned Ander-Thal, World Headline News

WHN PHOTO EXCLUSIVES: Previous WHN exclusives have documented Mr. Trump and Mssr. Poutine/Putin to be in near constant, often highly intimate, contact.  Indeed, numerous intelligence reports suggests that Mr. Poutine is King Trumpski's most senior advisor while Poutine views Trumpski as his most useful stooge. © 2025 Ned Ander-Thal, World Headline News

Almost Washington State (WHN)  March 23, 2025. In less than 100 days (which will be 'celebrated' on April 30, 2025) King, nay Emperor, Donald Trump has transformed the USA from a 'Beacon of Democracy' to just another expansionist, authoritarian, nation threatening longtime allies and neighbors while befriending and collaborating with former non-democratic adversaries.  Sadly (for the WHN), it is hard to find true humor in this - dark satire definitely, but not the good old chuckles at Trump's incompetent insanity that characterized his first term as President. Ahhh, the good old days.

But is the news ALL BLEAK?

! IT'S WAR !

• US Military Told to Prepares Plans For Panama Invasion  • US Military Plans for Greenland Invasion  • Trump Demands Renegotiation of Canadian Border  • Trump Plots Economic Destruction and Annexation of Canada  •  Trump Threatens Bombing of Drug Cartels in Mexico  • Trump Sides With Moscow Against Ukraine At U.N.  • Trump Starts Global Trade War  • Trump demands expulsion of Palestinians Out of Gaza to Construct Spectacular 'Mar-a-Gaza'.

PARTIAL LIST OF ACTUAL TRUMP "INITIATIVES"

WHN EXCLUSIVE: Comrade Elon Muskski (L) and King Donald Trumpski (R) attempt to present a unified bro-energy to the American public, however, informed sources say that their underlying competitive, and paranoid, personalities is rapidly boiling to the surface and may lead to utter destruction...   But is the Mutually Assured Destruction of "Musk and Trump" or the "USA and the World Order"?  Las Vegas odds makers suggest that the World Order, and modern civilization itself, should be worried.  © 2025 Ned Ander-Thal, World Headline News

Almost Washington State (WHN) March 23, 2025. In a shocking turn of events, there is  GOOD NEWS from the White House!  Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt sates that mainstream media sites, like the WHN, are misinterpreting Trump's messaging stating, "His Highness, after all  he is so tall, at least 7 foot 5, is the most generous, and most authoritative, leader that America has ever had.  He governs for all.  For example, NOBODY is talking about his almost rabid PRO-CHOICE agenda. President Trump believes in "CHOICE" so today he has signed the 'Fundamental Unlimited CHOICE Kindness America' Act. The FUC..., err, something, America Act guarantees all Americans 'true' choices. For example some snowflake democrats continue to complain about the loss of Federal abortion rights.  The FUC... America Act re-establishes this right by strengthening the SECOND AMENDMENT.  Starting today there now Unrestricted Gun Ownership Laws: there are no age requirements, no police checks, no anything.  ALL Americans can conceal carry any weapon they... so clearly you can have any weapon of YOUR CHOICE.  This strengthens  Abortion Rights because we in the Trump Administration simply prefer to abort life LATER rather than sooner. And did we mention that condemned prisoners now have their CHOICE of execution method?   But perhaps Mr. Trump's second, but clearly not last, term will be best characterized by his new "PRO-CHOICE" credo of:

"Be Pro-Trump or Be Pro-Prison sentence"

"I have nothing against gooses or the environment.  In fact in the right environment I love to goose.  That's why when I owned Ms. Universe, and all her attendants, I was known as the American Gooser.... and you know what, the ladies love me for it.

So in honor of my expertise in goosing, I hereby declare in this Executive Order, the Preservation of Wild Life, the Canadian Goose extinct and the American Gooses the National Bird of MY New America!"

TRUMP To Kill TRUTH Via New Department of Truth

*Per our brochure above, 100,000 words = $1,000.  

This is NOT tax deductible nor illegal for you....

... but it will be illegal for Ned if he fails to declare this income to the Internal Revenue Service.

ISSUE 200 Is Just Around The Corner!