


MERRY 2025!

'Happy' TRUMPY Noel
His SLAY, er, Sleigh, is
"Locked and Loaded
for a Merry 2025!"
Almost Washington State (WHN) December 19, 2024. MERRY CHRISTMAS AMERICA! This Christmas voters throughout the United States will be visited by Santa's obnoxious brother-In-law Trumpus. According to MAGA folklore, Trumpus is tasked with punishing naughty voters. But, in a uniquely American twist, Trumpus, unlike the European (i.e., "SOCIALIST") Krampus, punishes voters on "Santa's NICE List" while voters on "Santa's NAUGHTY List"are rewarded with presents such as Cabinet Posts, Ambassadorships, and/or increasing wealth. As told by the prophecies of the Book of Dion, "The Good They Die Young", those on Santa's NICE List are beaten by birch rod, AR-15s and/or sent to hell/prison by Trumpus edicts and/or 2025 MAGA laws.
SO, are YOU on Santa's "NAUGHTY" or "NICE" list? Will it be Candy Canes of Birch Canes for you?
December 19, 2024 • Issue 194 (of 200?)
World Headline News
EXCLUSIVES
NOTICE: Beginning January 1, 2025 the World Headline News will be transitioning our main web address to www.thewhn.com. However, www.thewhn.ca will also remain live for the foreseeable future.
Thanks to American Voters and the Trump Home Shopping Network®


WHO IS KRAMPUS?
Krampus is a horned, half-goat, half-demon figure from Central and Eastern Europe folklore who punishes bad children (i.e., children on Santa’s Naughty List) at Christmas. Krampus beats the naughty children with birch rods or carries them to hell in a basket. Typically, Krampus is depicted with dark fur, a large tongue, horns, and wild eyes. Krampus's name comes from the German word Krampen, which means "claw". His exact origins are unknown, but he's likely a non-Christian folklore character who became part of Christmas tradition.


It's Clear - Trumpus IS
AMERICA'S Krampus!


America Voted And Donald Trump Will Be
THE 47th PRESIDENT OF THE
UNITED STATES
OF AMERICA
You've NEVER seen BIG BALLS like mine!
Some say they are majestic, many others say they are the PERFECT decoration for the old Yule Log. Melania exclaimed to me that "They Be Best!" Even my political opponents, like Senator Chuck Schumer, admire them. Chucky told CNN: "President Trump has some big balls if he thinks he can win in 2024!"
And you know what, I DID IT!
Now you too can experience the joy of handling my
BIG BALLS this Christmas. For 100 easy payments of
only $4,547, I'll personally put my
MAGA BIG BALLS
into your own hands!



"That's RIGHT Loser Ned!"
Ned's 2023 CHRISTMAS NIGHTMARE Comes True






IMPORTANT LEGAL INFORMATION: To adhere to New York State Laws and Regulations, all handlers of Trump's BIG BALLS must be over age 18 and sign a legally binding Non-Disclosure Agreement (NDA) stating that all BIG BALL contact was consensual. Additionally, hands must be washed prior to any BIG BALL handling. The BIG BALLS remain the property of Trump Inc.
WOW!
Anything
Anytime
Trump Home Shopping Network
ATTN: BIG BALLS
Mar-a-Lago, FL
Indicate payment number: _____ of 100
The First, slightly smaller, BIG BALL will ship upon payment 40. The Second MAGA BALL will ship upon payment 100.
Trump Has Got Some BIG BALLS For A MAGA
Hurry, Limited Quantity!
Limit 2 per customer.

PAID* TESTIMONIAL
I have some BIG BALLS myself, but damn... TRUMPUS, or as I call him Trump-ass, has some of the biggest BALLS I've ever seen on a (still) convicted felon!
During the election, I spent a few pennies ($277 Million) to Crown, er, ELECT, the BIG BALLED Orange Trump-ass. But now I suffer from permanently puckered lips from kissing his butt.... but(t) that $277 MILLION did yield me another $200 BILLION - which I can now use my puckered lips to kiss!
Admittedly, I've really only seen the BIG BALLS (but not the 'Yule Log') from the backside, but even his BIG BUTT could not obscure those BIG 'Christmas' BALLS...
Starship might land on these BIG BALLS before Mars...
Elon (Last name redacted)
*I PAID TRUMP to make this testimonial!

IF you are on the Santa's NICE List, Trumpus turns to the Gnomes of Punishment-Special Services (GOP-SS) to administer the 'birch canes' of injustice. High on this list are former GOP-SS enforcers whose souls have grown less dark (Cheney and Kinzinger) and DemocRATS (Shifty Schiff) who wish to shift and spread the cheese more evenly to the American public (SOCIALISM!). While the GOP-SS criminal, and Socialist, Santa Claus (a.k.a., Saint Nickolas, Father Christmas, Kris Kringle, Der Weihnachtsmann, Pere Noel and other known alias) is a lazy (only works 1 day per year!) and ILLEGAL (American Passport/Birth Certificate - NO!) alien, Trumpus and his Gnome Troops (GOP-SS) are PURE AMERICANS and will work 24/7 to rid the NEW AMERICA of the "enemies within" and to make Canada our 51st State (sorry Puerto Rico)! For people on "Santa's NICE List" the future looks bleak. Per Commandant-President Trumpus: "People who do things for others without a Quid-Pro-Quo are obviously socialists and unfit to be Americans. Profit MUST be the basis of all government, corporate and personal acts. The NEW America will not be recognizable after my 1000 year reign! God Bless my troops, my prisons, and my deportation camps!"

WHN EXCLUSIVE: Official GOP-SS portrait of Our Dear Leader. © 2024 Ned Ander-Thal, World Headline News