TRUTHFULLY, after 32+ years the WHN
was going to have to end sometime...
... but(t) apparently that time has not yet arrived ...
By early 2024 Ned had decided to retire at ISSUE 200... you know, following the Glorious 2024 Victory of President Biden Kamala Harris. TWO HUNDRED was a nice round number and it felt left, er, right. It would have given Ned a couple of issues to document the MAGA-Madness-Implosion following TRUMP'S IGNOMINIOUS DEFEAT and his rapid decent into the dustbin of history. This would have truly made Ned a very happy quasi-human.
BUTT! AND A BIG BUTT IT IS...
APPARENTLY IT'S TRUE:
YOU CAN'T BELIEVE EVERYTHING YOU READ!
May 14, 2025 • Issue 2.01 (of ∞)
UN-Cancelled!?!
World Headline News EXCLUSIVES
Rumors Swirl:
Is Ned Ander-Thal the
New 007?!
Ned Ander-Thal Is OUT OF HIDING and BACK TO WORK!
NOTICE: Beginning in 2025 the World Headline News will begin transitioning our main web address to www.thewhn.com. However, www.thewhn.ca will also remain live for the foreseeable future.
Amazon Productions Inundated With Demands to Cast Ned as 007!
Bezos Initially Resisted, Wanted Trump...
ESCAPE FROM
TRUMP-A-TRAZ
Daring Prison Break By Ned Ander-Thal Reported
Trump 'Truths': "I told them he should have been Terminated!"
Almost Washington State (WHN) May 14, 2025. The unbelievable of has happened: Ned Ander-Thal has ESCAPED from the Trump-A Traz (formerly Alcatraz) Prison and, avoiding multiple Trump militias, escaped to safety in America's 51st State, er, Canada.
Having read the entire prison library (a single, unread, copy of Trump's The Art Of The Deal) Ned plotted his desperate escape - I mean who wouldn't be desperate after reading Trump's version of Mein Kampft. Ned, following an exchange of prison $Malania coin, made a dramatic, and explosive, escape as captured by prison video surveillance. As shown, using a pen, smuggled into prison encased in gluten-free, plastic explosive frosted, truffle cake, Ned blasted holes in Trump's charges against him... and more importantly, in the walls of the prison. Despite the efforts of Warden Trump to capture him, Ned escaped the flames of the prison. Interestingly, due to his girth being wide than the blast hole, Warden Trump was caught up in the flames... but strangely escaped unharmed. Per Trump, "Flames, hah, ...it was just another day in the office. As we like to say, some like it hot... very, very hot... right Satan, er, Elon!"
Once Ned dove into the San Francisco Bay, he had to avoid the Trump Militia Navy (see photo above), which was surprisingly easy as the sailors were all loaded to the gills with all that Tennessee whiskey that had been destined for, but banned from, Canada. Hugging the Pacific coast (further inland was teeming with Trump Militia) Ned was able to reach the relative safety of the Left, er, west coast of the Canadian frontier where he was met by members of the underground American/Albanian resistance.
Once safely in the hands of Canadian sympathizers, fugitive Ander-Thal was able to obtain the help of the Royal (and still Loyal) Canadian Mounted Police to re-seize control of the vast World Headline News bunker and it's massive electron mines from Canadian Maple MAGA-ites... who, it must be said, immediately said "Sorry" to our once again editor Ned.
... TRUMP WON ... and, well, it seems the previously resilient Trump Resistance Alliance began to rapidly disintegrate. Jeff Bezos is muffling the Washington Post, ABC and CBS have/are cowering from bogus Trump lawsuits, Zuckerberg is opening up META (Facebook, Instagram, etc) to Alt-Right craziness, Twitter has been "X"-ified by Musk and become an Alt-Right haven while Democrats appear befuddled and impotent in challenging Trump's cabal of whackos. Alt-Right conservatives seem to be ruling the political landscape in the USA and, in fact, much of the world. Trump's USA is poised to HAS become an aggressor nation (Hello Greenland, Panama, Canada and global MAGA-tariffs!) intent on Empire Building inspired by Putin in Ukraine and eastern Europe and, likely, Xi Jinping aspirations for Taiwan.
These events leaves ONLY the stalwart WORLD HEADLINE NEWS to stand against Trumpsanity! So here's looking forward to Issue 250 ... At approximately 12 issues per year that gets us through the SECOND (and, at least constitutionally, last?) Trump Presidency with perhaps a couple of additional issues to hopefully chronicle Trump's/MAGA's fade into irrelevancy.
IF YOU HAVE BEEN A VICTIM OF THE ILLEGAL GOVERNMENT 'SEIZURE OF PROPERTY', CALCULATE THE NUMBER OF 'PIECES OF PROPERTY' HELD BY YOUR ANCESTOR(S) IN THE 1860 CENSUS AND DIVIDE THAT BY THE NUMBER OF LIVING LEGITIMATE DESCENDANTS (Ancestors of ILLEGITIMATE CHILDREN EXCLUDED). THIS ACT WILL RIGHT RESTORE PROSPERITY TO THE DESCENDANTS OF THE GOOD CHRISTIAN SOUTHERN PATRIOTS WHOSE WEALTH WAS STOLEN BY THE ILLEGAL DEI-ACTIONS OF THE RHINO LINCOLN ADMINISTRATION. SUBMIT YOUR CLAIMS TODAY TO:
TRUMP ADMINISTRATION
MASTER STEPHEN MILLER
OFFICE OF LOST PROPERTY
1600 PENNSYLVANIA AVENUE
WASHINGTON DC 20500
March 1, 2025: You Read It Here FIRST!
Trump Floats Himself As New Pope
Almost Washington State (WHN) May 14, 2025. On March 1, 2025 (Issue 198) the WHN reported that Trump was proposing himself as the new Pope in the event Francis died..... and then sent JD Vance to the Vatican to facilitate the handover. Per Mr. Trump, "Many people, with tears in their eyes, say that JD really killed his assignment!"
On May 2, 2025 Trump 'TRUTH'fully confirmed his desire to assume the Papacy: "I will henceforth be known Pope Donny the Truthful and demand that the Vatican only accept my new $Trumpcoin cryptocurrency into it's treasury.... ooh, treasure, does it come with fries?!"
Trump Authorizes Reparations for African-Americans
Trump to reimburse former slave owners for the illegal seizure of 'PRIVATE PROPERTY' by 'Woke' Lincoln
Almost Washington State (WHN) May 14, 2025. The 'AMAZON' is abuzz with rumors that a new James Bond has been selected to replace Roger Craig. The franchise, now owned by Amazon Studios, has recently secured full storyline control and will be shortly producing new Bond thrillers. While a number of names have been floated as to the identity of the new James Bond, rumors are that the studio has signed Ned Ander-Thal to a 5 picture deal (i.e., about 6 months at Amazon). Ned became the popular choice during the online selection process following reports of his dramatic escape from Trump-A-Traz.... something only a real life James Bond could have accomplished!
WHN EXCLUSIVE: Early promotional poster soon to be release for the first of 5 Ned Ander-Thal Bond movies from Amazon Studios. Despite this evidence, reports continue to arise that Jeff Bezos is unhappy with the casting of Mr. Ander-Thal stating he favors a TRUE AMERICAN HERO like his glorious leader Donald Trump over the Albanian and quasi human Ned. © 2025. Ned Ander-Thal, World Headline News
GOVERNANCE VIA EXECUTIVE ORDERS • Making Americans Great Again
143 In the First 100 Days - This MAY Be No. 144 ...
HOW COMMON WAS OWNING A SLAVE IN THE USA? Despite misleading, but commonly cited, claims that less than 1% of Americans (Total Population: 31,443,321) owned slaves in 1860, only 18 or the 33 states were 'slave' states. The population of the 18 slave state was approximately 12.4 million total BUT this total included approximately 4,000,000 slaves. The 11 states that seceded in 1861 to form the Confederate States of America, had a population of 9.1 million of which 3.6 million were enslaved persons (i.e., 38-39% of the total population). Per the 1860 census, of the FREE population (>99% of which were white) there were over 316,000 slave owners (i.e., ~5.7% of the free population owned at least 1 slave). However, it is important to note that a slave owner was the ONE PERSON IN THE FAMILY that was the 'registered' owner of the 'property' (i.e., slave). The spouse, sons, daughters and other family members were not 'owners' in the 'property sense' but clearly benefitted from the labor of the slaves.
When one looks at FAMILY OWNERSHIP (per the 1860 census), approximately 31% of FREE families owned at least one slave. Also of interest it has been estimated that approximately 40% of slave owners were women... despite the fact that the common law doctrine of 'coverture' which stated that a married woman was the property of her husband. Oddly, slaves that a woman inherited (typically her father) remained HER property though inherited land likely became her husbands.
THE ECONOMICS OF SLAVERY: The average price of a healthy 18 year old male slave in 1860 was approximately between $800 - $1,600, (or $16,000- 32,000 in 2025 dollars). During an enslaved persons lifetime, he/she would provide around $6,000 (~$120,000 in 2025 dollars) in virtually free labor over their lifespan. In 1860 there were approximately 4,000,000 slave in the USA with an aggregate property value of about $100,000,000,000 in 2025 dollars (based an average of $25,000/slave to account for elderly, "damaged" and very young, unproductive, slaves).
Historically, most economists felt the abolition of slavery negatively impacted the southern economy after the Civil War (1861-1865). Indeed, agricultural output of the southern states fell by >33% (1860 vs 1880) as the large commercial plantation system failed and abusive share-cropping practices became more common. But don't feel too sorry for, at least some of, the former slave owners. Large plantations post civil war often 'employed' their former slaves to work the same land for pay, but then charged them substantial fees for housing (former slave quarters), food, and other necessities. Sharecropping became commonplace, and commonly resulted in former slaves working the land for free as crops hardly ever came in at levels that paid for the land rental and up front money for seed, food and housing.
However, today, some economists postulate that slavery was always uneconomical and actually repressed the southern economy. These economists base this premise using a Value of Life (VOL) calculation (which calculates of economic value of a life; typically ~150 times their annual income) state that the VOL of an enslaved person was less than the same individual, once freed. How? A "Free Person' in 1860 doing regular wage agricultural labor earned $40 per year; hence their VOL was $6000 (1860$). An enslaved person did roughly the SAME AMOUNT OF WORK (VOL of 6,000), but the slave owner also had to pay for food, clothing, and housing, as well as 'recover' the initial purchase price ($800-1,600) of the slave, make the VOL substantially less. Indeed, these economists estimate that the cost to the owner in providing food, clothing, and housing was roughly ~$40/yr (in 1860 dollars) roughly the same amount of the 'free' labor provided negating any significant 'Return on Investment' (ROI) on the initial 'purchase price of the property'. Indeed, many people will argue that slavery cost the south significant money.
WHN EXCLUSIVE: Trump: "Clearly Lincoln was a RHINO! His DEI-driven 'property seizure' led to the greatest loss of wealth by white patriotic southerners ever which then led to the generational effects that has resulted in poverty and despair among good white christian patriots in the former, but still glorious, Confederate States of America. It is past time that this historical injustice is corrected! This is only fair in light of my new anti-DEI policies and it is my honor to do so!" © 2025. Ned Ander-Thal, World Headline News
On May 4, 2025 Trump stated that he has ordered the reopening Alcatraz Prison in order to house the most serious criminals... like Ned (Issue 200!). Alcatraz Penitentiary was closed in 1963 due to deteriorating building and the expense of operating it. Indeed, even Musk's DOGE would have closed it down...
April 1, 2025: You Read It Here FIRST!
Alcatraz Rebirth?!
WHN EXCLUSIVE: Actual March 1, 2025 WHN photo of Mr. Trump preparing in the White House for his future as Pope Donny the Truthful (left). Obvious AI generated photo (right) posted by Mr. Trump on May 2, 2025 on Truth Social.
Even to the untrained reader, it is clear that the WHN photo is more accurate. © 2025. Ned Ander-Thal, World Headline News
FORESHADOWING A FUTURE
May 15, 2025: You Read It Here FIRST!?
UNFORTUNATELY, THE WHN'S 'TRUMP REPARATIONS FOR AFRICAN-AMERICANS ACT'
MAY BE AN ALL TOO PLAUSIBLE SCENARIO...
On May 12, 2025 the first WHITE South African immigrants arrived in the USA under Trump's February 7, 2025 "Addressing Egregious Actions of the Republic of South Africa" Executive Order.
Trump's Executive Order (fully encouraged/suggested by Elon Musk) addresses the South African government's Expropriation Act 13 of 2024 in which agricultural land of white (and technically Black) farmers land can be seized (in very rare cases without compensation) for redistribution to black South Africans. The South African Act specifically prohibits 'arbitrary expropriation' and requires the government to pursue an agreement with the landowner before resorting to expropriation (Admittedly, any law can be unethically implemented whether in South Africa or, as currently also seen, in the USA). Currently, WHITES (7.3% of the population) own ~72% of agricultural lands. Considering that only a small percentage of whites [crude estimate: 44,000 out of 2,700,000] are actually farmers (most whites live in urban centers) this dramatically magnifies the ownership disparity.
The assertion of Trump's February 7 Executive Order is that the minority white farmers face discrimination from the black majority - an argument that has become rampant in far-right circles and repeated by Musk and Trump. Thus, while immigration from Africa has been virtually closed down, Trump has created a special immigration program (as victims of unjust racial discrimination) for WHITE South Africans.
The South African government has criticized the Trump administration stating that Trump has failed to recognize the country's history of colonization and APARTHEID. Of note, under apartheid, black South Africans were severely restricted in their ability to own farmland. The 1913 Natives Land Act limited land ownership to 7%, and later 13%, for black people and, importantly, only in designated parts of the country - typically of lower quality and limited productivity. The apartheid government also poured resources into assisting white, but not black, farmers. In 2017, the median [50% above; 50% below] WHITE household in South Africa had 20 times the wealth of the median BLACK household (R1,364,900 vs R70,000; i.e., US $75,069 vs $3,850;). Indeed, only 1% of whites in South Africa live in poverty while 64% of Blacks and 41% of Colored people live in poverty. White unemployment stands at ~7% while the national unemployment figure is greater than 30%.
Sounds bad, right?! In the USA, consequent to slavery and discrimination, the median household wealth for WHITES is US $132,650 and for BLACKS $8,550 - a 15.5 time difference. So there are really minimal differences between South Africa and the United States - for every single Rand/Dollar a white person has, a BLACK person has either 0.051 or 0.064 Rands/Dollars.
Sadly, for comparison purposes, the end APARTHEID only began on May 4, 1990 (Groote Schuur Minute agreement) with the first multiracial general elections not being held until 1994. In contrast, the American CIVIL WAR (SLAVERY) ended on April 9, 1865. Despite the additional 126 years of 'FREEDOM' for BLACKS in the USA, time has only added another 0.013% to their 'wealth'. WHY? It is the consequence of systemic racism, education inequality, job discrimination and housing discrimination that, despite Trump's and the Supreme Court proclamations, still continues - albeit not as blatantly (at least until January 20, 2025). Similarly in South Africa, land ownership, educational, housing, and economic opportunities and existing wealth of the country resides almost entirely in the hands of 7.3% (i.e., Whites) of the population and will not change without government intervention.
Indeed, "MANY PEOPLE" wonder if Trump is setting his agenda after reading the WHN....
SO, PLEASE DONALD,
DO NOT READ NED'S 'PREDICTION' BELOW!
ATTENTION: IF you no longer wish to receive the WHN, simply click the button (right) and say UNSUBSCRIBE in the email message and you will be immediately removed.
Especially on April 1...
WHN EXCLUSIVE: Security video from Trump-A-Traz showing the moment Ned breached the big beautiful walls of the newly restored prison and spa. Pursued by Warden/Executioner Trump, Ned made it to the relative safety of San Francisco Bay. Rumors are that he was aided by a RHINO Republican sent to terminate him. Warden Trump, meanwhile, enjoyed the flames: "Just like the spa that I'll be going to in the not too distant future!" exclaimed "The Don". © 2025. Ned Ander-Thal, World Headline News
HISTORICAL NOTES: When the British Empire ended slavery in the 1830's, the government compensated slave owners (the Slave Compensation Act of 1837). The Slave Act of 1837 paid SLAVEHOLDERS approximately £20,000,000 (1837£; almost £3 Billion today) in compensation for freeing the enslaved 'property' of the Caribbean, Mauritius and Cape of Good Hope. In 1837, this sum represented 40% of the Annual Budget of the British Empire. In the USA, only the District of Columbia (i.e., Washington D.C.) paid compensation of up to $300/slave to the SLAVE OWNER... and only during the period of 1862-1863.
WITH MINOR EXCEPTIONS, no enslaved person ever received reparations for their time as a slave in either Britain or the USA. Most often, freed slaves continued to work for their former 'owner' for minimal payment (i.e, 'slave wages') often totally consumed by food and lodging fees.