Race To The Finish Line
Almost Washington State (WHN) October 16, 2024. With less than 3 weeks remaining until the U.S. Presidential election, most of the Western world remains flummoxed by how close the race remains between former President Trump and current Vice-President Harris.
Despot loving Donald Trump, found guilty in New York civil court of sexual assault (i.e., rape in common vernacular) and convicted of 34 (low level) NY state felonies, while remaining charged with crimes related to the 2020 election in Federal court, retains even (or better) odds for winning the electoral college. Vice President Harris, a former prosecutor with a spotless criminal record, who in past elections (just like Hillary Clinton) should have an insurmountable lead over Mr. Trump is struggling to overcome Mr. Trump in the Electoral College vote - though she will certainly win the popular vote by a large margin.
HOW CAN THIS RACE BE SO CLOSE?
October 16, 2024 • Issue 191 (of 200?)
WHN EXCLUSIVE: "I love that man, but he needs a wife number 4... America needs wife number 4. He should Marry An American Girl Again... go MAAGA." cried Sin-Dee © 2024 Ned Ander-Thal, World Headline News
BC Competes for ELECTION CRAZINESS With The USA
Almost Washington State (WHN) March 1, 2024.
World Headline News
EXCLUSIVES

REDNeck to Neck
"I can't lose because I got the noose!"

WHN EXCLUSIVE: The half-marathon race to the White is coming to a, potential, end this November 5th. Though Mr. Trump states that the 2020 election never actually ended. © 2024 Ned Ander-Thal, World Headline News


In an attempt to unravel the above question, the WHN talked to 3 Trump voters in battleground states who remain extremely loyal to Mr. Trump. First we talked to 'Willie' in western Pennsylvania. Willie, age 36, has been unemployed since 1988 and blames migrants for this, "Hell, I should be CEO of some big ass company like Boeing - I couldn't do any worse for them! But I can't cuz some gibber-jabber speaking person bought MY lottery ticket at 7-11 and won MY $100,000,000 prize. I went to court, but I musta got those same damn judges as Trump and Rudy did when he brought all of his 'proven' 2020 election crimes to court. No evidence hell! I an't got no $100,000,000 so I call that Evidence! That Camel-la DEMON-crat woman probably speaks things other'n English...like maybe that Canadian stuff -PROTECT OUR BORDERS! And she is a she, and the White House ain't no place for a woman. Trump, he's a man and we's got us the same hair style - damn wind... maybe we is twins???" Clearly this is a man who has "done his research" and continues to support the former President.
Tucson Arizona Hospital Mourns Death of
Beloved Mascot
R.I.P. Cocky Cockroach!

Almost Washington State (WHN) October 16, 2024. News has reached the World Headline News of the passing of the beloved mascot of our favorite (but unnamed) hospital in Tucson, Arizona. 'Cocky the Cockroach' has been the been the semiofficial mascot of the hospital since his emerging nymph stage in early 2024 in Stairwell Three. Cocky's cause of death has not yet been determined as the coroner is awaiting toxicology tests, but no shoe prints were observed on his body and there was abundant food littering the stairwell. Death by old age is the most likely possibility as hospital sanitation workers rarely visited his ecosystem. We, your fans, will miss you Cocky... thank God for J.D. Vance!


WHN EXCLUSIVE: Donald Trump: "He was my role model - he was what I strive to be. Many people know that he was actually my FIRST CHOICE for my V.P. running mate, but Don Jr. told me the candidate had to be human... talk about discrimination! Anyway, Don Jr. explained to me that J.D. Vance was almost as good a cockroach as Cocky and, unsurprisingly, Junior was right!" © 2024 Ned Ander-Thal, World Headline News


Next the WHN went to Michigan and talked to one of Mr. Trump's most fervent supporters: 'Sin-dee'. Sin-dee works for the State of Michigan and wants to assure former President Trump that she "..will find all the votes he needs to win the state of Michigan. No way that he loses this time around because I have the keys to the ballot boxes and vote tabulators." Sin-dee also says that she plans to relocate to Washington D.C. following the election and serve Mr. Trump "personally": "I know that we have got a real connection by the way he looked at me from my TV set. That Access Hollywood tape really got me excited.... Melania has not been campaigning for him, so I think I'm pretty much a shoe-in to be the new FIRST LADY of our 47th President... Because I too have a 'concept' of a 'health' plan for Melania ...Donny and I will name our son Prince, because that is higher than a Barron."

Actual October 11, 2024 Hospital Stairwell photo!

Finally, the WHN talked to 'Jeffry' in Arizona. Jeffry is, just like his hero, a university graduate of the Wharton School of Business. Jeffry says that he is voting for Trump because of his business acumen and his entrepreneurial skills: "I mean have you seen his NFTs, the wonders of Trump University, worn Trump Sneakers, prayed using a fake leather bible printed in China, or told time using his $100,000 watch? I mean, I think even I, a Wharton graduate, can learn a thing or two from that guy.
Plus we might even get to be roomies if we are both convicted, er, 'graduated', into certain Federal Housing. I could use a roommate like him. What with his Secret Service protection I could be protected as well because some of those big guys in the, ah, Federal dormitory are say I'll be their bitch... and that's a bitch.I'm also hoping he will write one of those perfect letter to the parole board for me... or better yet give a full Presidential pardon."
WHN EXCLUSIVE: " Dude, look at our hair! I think we must be twins separated at birth." Willie of Pennsylvania © 2022 Ned Ander-Thal, World Headline News
WHN EXCLUSIVE: Jeffry: "They say crime doesn't pay, but have you seen the CA$H that 'The Don' has raked in since 2020? I think he would be a great mentor and I can only hope that we will be assigned to the same Federal Dormitory once we are convicted." © 2024 Ned Ander-Thal, World Headline News
WHN EXCLUSIVE: David vs Goliath, er, Rustad in the BC Election this October 19. Who will control the Legislative Assembly. © 2024 Ned Ander-Thal, World Headline News
Almost Washington State (WHN) October 16, 2024. In an attempt to compete with the wackiness of US politics, British Columbia has (pumpkin?) spiced up the October 19, 2024 election. The New Democratic Party (NDP) replaced longtime leader John Horgan in late 2022 with David Eby to prepare for the 2024 Election. Meanwhile the BC Liberals (which was, ironically, the conservative party in BC) who held power from 2001-2017 rebranded themselves under Kevin Falcon as BC United in 2023. Unfortunately, Mr. Falcon's leadership led to a schism within the BC United party (irony, eh!) and the formation of the BC Conservatives in the summer of 2024. Even more strangely, on August 28, 2024 (less than 2 months before the election) the BC United announced that it was suspending it campaign for the October 2024 election. Thus we end with a race between David Eby (the current NDP BC Premier) and the upstart BC Conservatives led by John Rustad. Rustad has expressed vaccine skepticism and some Trump adjacent plans for his government if elected.
LIKE THE U.S., THIS RACE IS
TOO CLOSE TO CALL.